Bad Dreams
by Mishka89
Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or his he being attacked by something out of his control..
1. Chapter 1

Title: Nightmare

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or his he being attacked by something out of his control..

A/N: This is my first Supernatural FanFiction. I welcome all reviews including constructive critisism. I'm not really sure where this will be heading but if you like it let me know and I will keep writing even if one person requests it. Let me know if you think I have gotten into the minds of the boys at all..

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story but if I did..

Warning: I rated this T to be safe. It has some swearing and might contain a typo here and there.

He opened his mouth to scream but his voice betrayed him. His body was shaking uncontrollably and he found his breathing labored. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't.

Dean Winchester looked down on the crumpled form of his younger brother Sam. Dean had been trying to resuscitate Sam for over forty minuets now to no avail.

"Come on Sammy. You can do it, just breathe. Please just wake up!" Dean pleaded pushing on Sam's broken chest repeatedly. He placed his head on Sam's chest, trying to hear any noise to make his brother's life known to him. "Please Sam don't do this! I don't know what I'll do without you. You have to wake up now. Please Sammy!"

Dean wiped away tears that he didn't even know he had shed. He sucked in a deep breath, pinched Sam's nose, and let the breath go into Sam's open mouth recommencing the CPR. Sam's head lolled to the side slightly every time Dean pushed down hard on his brother's chest.

Dean looked down at his brother. Sam's face was covered in cuts, bruises and dirt. Where there wasn't an injury his skin was a light shade of blue. His left shoulder was a weird angle most likely dislocated as was his left knee.

Another thirty minuets passed as Dean tried to frantically bring his brother back from the dead. Dean pushed down again hard then collapsed, lying next to his bother physically and emotionally exhausted. There was a voice in his head telling him that Sam was dead and not coming back. Dean knew the voice was right but he just didn't want to believe it. This was all his fault.

It was his fault they had come on this hunt, to this fucking house. It was his fault Sam was lying next to him dead. He was supposed to look after Sammy. That had been what he was supposed to do since John Winchester had put Sam in his arms as a child. He had failed. He had failed his father, himself but mostly Sam.

Dean stomach muscles tightened causing him excruciating pain. Instinctively he grabbed his stomach and pushed hard against his pain but the withdrew his hands. _I deserve this. I need to be punished. This happened because of me. This happened because I'm too weak to stop it. _Crying uncontrollably dean searched the floor surrounding him blindly with his hand. All the injuries he had been ignoring because of his adrenaline rush and instant need to help Sam more than himself had finally started hurting. _Good! I wish it was more, let it come. I deserve this._

His hand closed around something cold, hard and metal and he pulled it into his view. Inspecting his sawed off shotgun he opened it easily. It was loaded with one silver bullet. He clicked it closed and looked over at Sam. One of Sam's eyelids were open and his dark eye was looking right at Dean.

"I'm so sorry Sammy. I really am. I failed you but don't worry it wont happen again. I love Sammy." Dean said in between choking breaths. Half of his ribs were practically shattered and one of his lungs might have been punctured too for all the luck he was having with controlling his breathing he guessed. He reached over and closed Sam's eyelid. He planted a soft kiss on his baby brother's forehead noting the coldness of Sam's skin against his lips. Dean raised the shotgun to his right temple and squeezed the trigger.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled slapping his brother hard across the face. He had been trying to wake his older brother for a couple minuets now, talking, yelling and shaking hadn't worked so the only thing left in Sam's mind was to slap him, or throw cold water over him but he knew which Dean would prefer.

Dean woke with a start. He had tears streaming down his face, his entire body was drenched with a film of hot sticky sweat and he was shaking. Dean sat upright at super speed not noticing his brother sitting next to him and almost knocked him off the bed entirely. His body screamed at him for moving so fast and he began feeling lightheaded. Blinking away black spots that had appeared in the corner of his eyes Dean sat hyperventilating, his hand across his chest.

His dream flashed before his eyes within a second. _Sam! Where the hell was Sam?_

Sam looked as Dean's eyes darted around the room quickly until they found him. His brothers form visibly relaxed but he was still hyperventilating somewhat. Sam snapped into action. "Hey Dean its ok. It was just a nightmare. Your fine now, I've got you. It's all over now Dean. I'm here. Just breathe." Sam cooed while resting his hands on his brothers shaking shoulders, forcing him to look into his eyes.

Dean calmed down considerably and wiped the tears from his eyes. He was slowly regaining his composure. Building his hard outer shell back up. He coughed cleaning his throat and laid back down on the bed.

"I was doing some more research on our next gig and I could hear you moaning so I figured you were just dreaming about Jessica Simpson or something but then your started screaming and thrashing. I've been trying to wake you up for the last few minuets." Sam said concern in his eyes. Sam monitored his brother the way only a Winchester or a doctor could. Checking for any change in Dean's breathing and overall manner.

Dean stiffened. It was one thing to have a nightmare like that but it was another thing to display the weakness of letting Sam know he wasn't the perfect older brother he expected himself to be.

He straightened sitting back up, leaning his back against the bed head. He was still tired and sore from their previous hunt. His ribs were bruised, his ankle sprained and his eyes were still burning from the smoke of the house Sam and he had burned down a few days earlier. Trying to rub the sting from his eyes Dean decided it was time to get back to work. Three days of sitting around doing nothing was driving him crazy. Recuperation Sam had called this shit. Bah! Recuperation can go to hell. _I've been a hell of a lot worse than this before and still didn't slow down. Not when people are dying out there and while there are supernatural things out there causing havoc. And I'm defiantly not going to stop until I find the thing that killed Mum._

"So geek boy, what'd you find out about our next gig?" Dean smirked back at his brother.

"Nothing that we didn't already know. The witness accounts all say the same thing. A huge black thing shaped like a dog but apparently to big to actually be one. Long claws, sharp teeth and red eyes. So far the only sightings have been on a full moon. I'm thinking it's safe to call this one a werewolf." Sam informed his brother still worried about him. Dean obviously didn't want to talk about it so he would let it slide for now.

"Okay well we're here," Dean said pointing to their map, "and we need to be here before the next full moon which is two days. It's a three day drive but with me at the wheel we should get there with time to spare." He grinned.

Sam smiled to himself. With Dean behind the wheel of his precious '67 Chevy Impala he could cut any normal trip in half. Dean was out of bed and was sorting through his pile of clothes on the floor. He pulled out an old Metallica t-shirt and the usual pair of jeans he wore, grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom.

Packing his bag and stripping the beds of the crummy motel they had been staying in Sam listened to his brother singing Black Sabbath's Paranoid in the shower. _This is going to be a long day._

_Ok so that was the first chapter of my new story. Hope your not to disapointed. Please review to let me know what you think or how I can make this better._

_Mishka xXx_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Nightmare 

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or his he being attacked by something out of his control..

A/N: Ok I know that this is a short chapter, but I'm currently just trying to get my bearings on this story. Something I forgot to mention, in Australia we are only just saw episode Route 666, so if I am writing about anything that might happen later in the season, then I didn't know about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story but if I did..

Dean felt the water running down his face. He closed his eyes, opened his mouth and let the water try and cleanse him.

He was still shaken from his dream. It wasn't like him to have nightmares. He had, had a few when he was little after his Mom had died. They were never like this though. He could only remember one. It had been a reoccurring dream and after it had stopped he had pushed it down deep inside him, trying to forget it.

His Mom had been on the roof over his bed, looking down at him screaming in agony. Dean had tried to run to get his Dad but his legs wouldn't move. He had no control over his body and his eyes had stayed focused on his mother. She had reached down and grabbed his arms. He had tried with all his strength to pull away but her grip was iron clad. Her hands had been burning through his skin to his bones. The pain, even though it had been in his head, had been excruciating. Mary had then pulled him up and wrapped him in a tight bare hug burning through him.

Dean shuddered as he remembered screaming for her to let him go but she had only held him out at arms length in front of her face and smiled at him. The smile was not his mothers though, it had been pure evil. Her eyes had turned black and she had let out a cruel laugh.

Dean remembered waking up similar as he had before. Shaking and drenched in sweat, but on the floor. Not to mention freaking out completely until his Dad had calmed him down.

He rinsed the soapy foam off his chest. _Man that dream felt real!_ He wasn't going to let it get to him to much, not when they had a job to do. He needed to stay calm and focused. Unconsciously he began singing Black Sabbath.

Dean didn't know how long he had been in the shower but it wouldn't have been more than ten minuets. Turning off the water he hoped out of the shower, gently avoiding his sprained ankle and dried himself quickly. He threw on his jeans and old Metallica t-shirt.

He smiled at the few blood stains on it. There were four tiny drops near the bottom of it. Those little drops had been added to the collection of stains on his t-shirt when he had gotten into a fight with three guys, who were twice his size, over a game of pool he had been hustling. Those little drops were his blood. He had knocked two of the guys out quickly as they were all brawn, no brains. The other guy had proven more difficult to hurt.

Dean had just stood up from tripping with the momentum he had needed to use to get big thug number two down and when he had turned around to find big thug number three he had been met with a hard punch to the face. Dean's nose had been bleeding badly by the time he knocked big thug number three out with a round house kick to the head. From all the blood his nose had shed, only these four little drops had made it onto his t-shirt.

Dean's eyes looked to the left side of his T where there was a short cut, which had been stitched up with think black thread. He had received this by a pissed off Vampire with a knife. Always a bad combination. Dean had dusted that bitch good though. _No one cuts up m favourite Metallica T and lives to talk about it._ The blade had hit his skin too but luckily for him it looked worse than it actually was.

"Got that little bitch good I did." Dean muttered to himself. He averted his gaze from his T to the mirror he now stood in front of. His reflection gazed out at him looking tired and pale. His bright green eyes were bloodshot and there were dark patches under them. _Great, me looking like shit, will only make Sammy worry about me and that's the last thing I need._

When Dean came out of the bathroom the beds were stripped and Sam was sitting at his laptop at the little table in the middle of their room.

Sam looked up at his brother. He looked tired. Dean limped over to his pile of clothes and began throwing them in his duffle bag not bothering to fold them as Sam had done.

Dean finished packing his bag and looked over at Sam staring at him.

"Something on your mind Sammy? Because I know this is going to be a routine hunt, but I still need you sharp. And before you ask me anything, I'm fine."

"I wasn't going to ask you that actually. I mean you look just peachy." Sam replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Anyway we should get going. You had breakfast or we gonna pick some up on the way?" Dean asked ignoring his brother's last comment, and threw his bag over his shoulder.

"Nah I'm not hungry." Sam closed his laptop, grabbed his bag which had been sitting next to the front door and lead the way out to the Impala.

Dean came out a minuet later and got in the drivers seat, put the keys in the ignition and pulled his baby out onto the highway.

_Ok, so that was the second chapter. I know that nothing really happened in this chapter but I will hopefully be getting back into the flow for the next chapter. any comments and advice are always welcomed. Thanks for reading._

Mishka xxx


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Nightmare

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or is he being attacked by something out of his control..

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter three is finally up! Sorry it took me so long to get it done, but I usually write things for this story in long hand when I'm at school. So yeah anyway, here it is and I hope you enjoy it. A HUGE thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, I keep writing this for you..

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story, but if I did..

* * *

The Winchester brothers had been in the Impala for over two hours but most of the trip so far had been done in silence.

Dean stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes. His vision was beginning to get blurry but he wasn't going to ask Sam to drive. He looked over at his brother. Sam was half asleep, and from what Dean could tell, dreaming. He smiled at the small smile that played on his brother's lips and rubbed his eyes again. The blurry vision wasn't going away so Dean gently pulled the Impala to the side of the road trying not to wake Sam, and leaned over into the back seat where his bags were. He opened his bag and quietly searched through it looking for his eye drops. He hated using eye drops. He didn't like the feeling they made when the liquid fell into his unprotected eye. Dean blinked rapidly after the liquid hit his right eye, then he did the same to his left.

Sam murmured something in his sleep and shifted slightly, facing towards his passenger side window. Dean put the eye drops back in his back and sat down waiting for the blurriness to clear more before he went back to driving. After blinking again his eyesight returned to its norm and he got out of the car. He hadn't realized he needed to take a leek until then and so he stood on the side of the road and did his thing.

Dean hopped back into the car to find Sam awake.

"Hey there sleeping beauty. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine." Sam replied while stretching as much as possible in the confines of the car. He looked over at Dean, "You look like shit. Do you want me to drive for awhile?"

Dean shook his head, "The way you drive by the time we get there Hell will have frozen over." He joked turning the car on. Dean smiled listening to his baby roar. There were three things that he cared about most in the world, they were; Sam, his father and his precious Impala. He had had this car for ages and been alone with it so many nights and days that he regarded it like another half. Sam had gone to collage, his father had gone missing, but his Impala had always been there for him. He smiled and skidded the car back out onto the highway.

* * *

"Dean can you please turn that music down? Or put it on the radio? Or turn it off? Or something! It's giving me a headache!" Sam yelled over the of guitar solo of Angus Young. Dean merely shrugged his shoulders and mouthed 'I can't hear you'.

Sam shook his head and leaned back further into his seat. He looked at his watch. It was 4.57am and he still hadn't driven. Sam was surprised his brother was still awake. They had been driving for roughly 22 hours and had only stopped twice, once for lunch, the other for gas.

Even though he had been driving for hours and looked like shit, Dean was wired as he tapped the steering wheel with his thumb to the beat of ACDC. Sam had no idea how his older brother did it but he put it down to the caffeine and the music. Sam shook his head and smirked as his brother started singing out of tune.

Dean let out a yawn and hoped his brother didn't see it. He was tired as hell, even though driving didn't really require much movement, it was still hard work keeping your attention levels at their peek. Dean didn't want to admit it but he just didn't want to go back to sleep in case he had another nightmare. It sent chills down his spine every time he let his thoughts wander back to it. Sam dead. Him trying in vain to being him back. Then the gun, the cold metal of the gun against his temple. He shuddered and pressed down a little more on the gas pedal. The car responded quickly fastening its pace. He was well over the limit but at this time in the morning there wouldn't be too many cops around, and he just wanted to get there.

He yawned again and this time Sam did see it.

"Dean I really think I should take over driving. You look like shit. Or at least just pull over and try and get some sleep." Sam pleaded using his puppy dog eyes against his brother.

Dean looked away from his brother back to the road. His eyes were getting blurry again and he let out another yawn. As much as he hated to admit it Sam was right. He turned the music down a little and pulled to the side of the road. He had cut their trip down even further so what did it matter if he let Sam do his Nana driving for a little while.

Sam sighed in relief, got out of the car and walked around to the driver's side. Dean slid over into the passenger's seat and folded his arms across his chest. As Sam pulled back onto the highway it was like someone hit a switch in Dean's brain and he fell asleep instantly.

* * *

The waves crashed over Dean and he got hit in the face with a wall of hard salty sea water. He took in a deep breath to replace the one that had just been squeezed out of him. His eyes darted frantically above the water. Where was Sam? He was just here a second ago. Then Dean saw it, a small brown dot. He swam frantically towards it, arms thrashing and legs kicking as hard as they could. But no matter how hard he swan, each wave was pushing him further away from his brother. Sam's head disappeared from view then reappeared another few meters from Dean.

Dean could see his little brother's eyes under his bangs of dark hair. They were pleading with him. They seemed to scream: S_ave me Dean! You promised nothing bad would happen to me while you were there to protect me!_ Then Sam went under water. Dean took in a deep breath and dived down after his brother. He managed to get a hold on Sam's hand, but Sam just pulled him down with him into the cold, dark depths of the ocean.

His lungs screamed at him, begging for air and his eyes burned from the salt water but he clung onto Sam's hand for dear life. His heart raced and his body was thrown into a small seizure from the lack of air. His grasped waned. Only for a second but it was long enough for Sam to be pulled from his grasp. Long enough for him to see his baby brother's eyes scream at him for help and then go dead.

Dean tried to swim down after Sam but the pressure was making his head feel like it was going to explode. His ears popped painfully and he his body took control over his mind and swam back up to the surface. He burst back into the light and greedily took the deep breaths his lungs needed so badly.

"Sam! Sammy! Oh god, I'm so sorry! I tried, I really tried! Sammy!" was the last thing that came from Dean Winchester's lips before he swam back down into the dark abyss, breathing as he went, letting his lungs fill with the harsh water that drowned him.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Nightmare

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or is he being attacked by something out of his control..

A/N: Hey guys. I was happy to get heaps of great reviews for my last chapter, so keep 'em coming.They inspired me into writing this chapter. I would have put it up last night but I had a few problems with my document manager. I tried to write this chapter mostly from Sam's point of view. Thought I would give it a try so let me know what you think.Anyway, read and hopefully enjoy ;)..I keep writing for you..

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story, but if I did..

* * *

Dean started awake. He was still in the passenger seat of the Impala. He was covered in a cold sweat and shaking slightly. He silently thanked whoever was listening that his eyes were relatively dry. He closed his eyes slowly and could swear that he could taste the salty sea water of his nightmare. When he opened them again he became aware of a hand squeezing firmly on his shoulder and he looked around to see Sam eyeing him nervously. 

Dean dragged in a deep breath which burned his dry throat and rubbed his eyes, "I'm okay. Just a bad dream. I'm fine." He said more trying to convince himself than Sam.

Saw wasn't convinced and continued to eye his brother with concern, "Dean this is the second nightmare in a row. What's going on?"

Dean shrugged while re-composing himself. _Yeah, what is going on? Wouldn't I like to know_, "Carmon Electra was into you not me, that's all." He offered jokingly.

Sam smiled a little, "Yeah that would be right. Really Dean what's up?" he asked, his tone more serious.

"I'm fine Sam. I just had a bad dream. That's all." His shaking had stopped to a mild quiver in his hands and he looked out of the car for this first time to find that they were in a parking lot in some small country town. It was daylight and he guessed he had been asleep for a few hours, but it seemed like his dream had gone on a lifetime. "Where are we?" he asked reaching into the back seat for the bottle of water he always kept there.

"Bentleigh. I had to pull over when you started screaming. Dean, don't change the subject. Seriously, what's going on? You could at least tell me what the dreams were about." Sam added using his puppy dog look on his older brother. He saw Dean straighten his pose. Dean usually did that when he was uncomfortable with the situation, like he obviously was now.

"It was nothing. Just a demon. That's all." He lied. There was no way in hell he was going to tell Sam that he had just watched him die twice in a row. Dean didn't like opening up and he wasn't about to start now. Not because of a few silly dreams. At least, he hoped they were dreams.

Sam could tell that was the end of the conversation. Asking Dean again would just get him mad which would make him just shut further off, "You hungry?" he said suddenly when he heard his tummy rumble. After all, they hadn't eaten much since they left their hotel awhile ago. Well anything that a normal person would class as food. Mainly just chips and M&M's.

Dean nodded. He knew his stomach was pretty much empty, and the thought of food was making him nauseous. But if he didn't eat, Sam wouldn't eat and there was no way he was going to let that happen.

Dean smiled to himself as a hot waitress walked past. She was a tall blonde, great body and big breasts. She probably has sawdust for brains too. He watched her like a predator stalking his prey until she disappeared around the back into the kitchen. Feeling Sam's eyes on him he turned to his brother.

Sam laughed. Dean would always be the same. The same overprotective big brother, the same loyal son, the same perfect hunter. Plus the same handsome ladies man. Sam took another bite of his burger and watched Dean pick dejectedly at his fries. He had barley touched his burger and had only settled to drinking a beer. His brother had an iron stomach. He had been practically raised on fast food and food from a packet since their Mom had died. Sam had been the same but he still loved the taste of a home cooked meal. Jess used to cook for him. He smiled to himself remembering back to their one year anniversary.

He had walked in to find the room lit only by candles and the smell of a beautiful roast chicken in the oven. Jess had walked out from the kitchen to meet him with a passionate kiss. It had truly felt perfect and he remembered wanting to stay in the moment forever. The image of Jess and him enjoying their meal was ruined when a new image of Jess on the ceiling appeared across Sam's eyes. His Jess, his beautiful Jess, the love of his life, up there on the ceiling. Pain in her eyes and her stomach slashed open. Then the flames.

Sam put the last bit of his burger down and rested his head in his hands, his appetite lost.

"Sam, you okay? You look a little pale man."

Sam looked up to see his brother had abandoned his quest of playing with his food and was just sitting back and relaxing, beer in hand.

"Yeah I'm fine. You don't look so hot yourself either. Did you want me to drive the rest of the way? We only have about another four hours or so until we get there."

"And let you have all the fun? Never. And besides, that's not what that waitress thinks." He said smiling smugly waving a small piece of paper in front of Sam. Sam laughed. Dean could have no legs and no arms, and chicks would still give him their phone numbers.

"You ready?" Dean asked standing up. Sam stayed where he was so Dean sat back down hesitantly, fearing a chick flick moment may be about to happen.

"Dean. I want you to tell me what you dreamt about." Sam said in a resolved tone. He knew he was up for a fight but he could see it in his brother's eyes that he was worried. No matter how much Dean tried, Sam could still see sometimes in his brothers eyes what was going on. That and he had a bad feeling about these nightmares.

Dean shifted slightly, "I told you man. It was just a silly nightmare about a Demon. Can we drop it now." It wasn't a question, it was an order. But Sam had never been the one to follow orders.

"Dean please. Okay, look I've got a really bad feeling about this. I mean Dean, when was the last time you had a nightmare? When you were five? This isn't good man." Sam asked, his eye's locked on his brothers.

To tell the truth Dean had been feeling not good about these damned nightmares either. But then again why would he be. He set his empty beer bottle down and thought about getting another one. The alcohol, even though not much, had been settling his nerves. Knowing he was about to drive however, he decided against it. No point risking his precious baby, "I told you Sammy, it was just about a stupid Dem-" he started.

"That's a lie and you know it. You wouldn't get so freaked out about a bloody dream with a demon in it Dean!" Sam cut him off.

"It was a pretty scary mo-fo Sam. Besides I don't wanna talk about it and I really don't see how it's any of your business. Drop it." Dean retorted, anger underlying his tone and his eyes threatening. Dean stood up, threw some money on the table and limped, despite himself, out as calmly as he could, back to his Impala.

Sam decided it would be better to let his brother cool down a little, so he stayed seated at the table. Sam rubbed his temples becoming aware of an on coming headache. _Great that's all I need_ was the last thing that went through his mind before he was plunged painfully into a vision.

He was in what he assumed to be a hotel room. The room was absolutely trashed. The walls were covered in holes which looked like they were most likely made from a fist or a foot. There were two beds, both of which had been destroyed. The sheets were torn to shreds, the pillows ripped open leaving feathers all over the floor, and the mattresses on both had been thrown off the bases. It looked like a wild animal had passed through the room in a rage. The bedside lamp had been thrown at the wall, and was shattered in pieces on the floor below where they had hit. Dean's clothes were strewn around the place here and there. Sam's bag lay untouched next to an upturned table.

Sam heard a gasp of pain and was instantly standing in the small rundown bathroom. He could see Dean sitting on the floor holding a piece of broken mirror tightly in one hand and the knife he usually slept with in the other. The broken mirror flashed into Sam's sight. It looked like someone had punched it and in the centre there was a few blood stains.

Sam looked back at Dean again and watched helpless as his big brother cut violently into his wrists with the broken piece of mirror. It was like someone had put his vision in fast forward and Sam watched his brother bleed out in a matter of seconds. The last words to cross Dean's lips were, "I'm sorry Sammy." The lights flickered and went out.

* * *

_Okay so there it was! How did I do? Any comments, criticisms or you just wanna drop a line in and say 'Hi', don't hesitate to do so, I love and appreciate the feedback. Next chapter they will get there and there will be more action, but for now I'm just going through the motions. See you all soon,_

Mishka xXx


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Nightmare

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or his he being attacked by something out of his control..

A/N: Okay so here is the new chapter. Hope it's not to bad. I have been writing it during free classes at school. This week has been really hectic for me, I had a whole bunch of English SAC's (big assessment things)..But anyway hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story but if I did..

* * *

Sam Winchester's eyes shot open faster than a bullet left a gun. His head was spinning and felt like it was about to explode. His vision flashed before his short term memory in less than a second, "Oh god, Dean!" Sam shot up and ran out to the Impala to find his brother sitting quietly in the driver's seat picking dirt out from under his nails. 

One look at Sam told Dean something was wrong. Sam was white as a ghost and his eyes were open with a frantic look in them. Dean opened the door and hoped out as fast as his sore ankle would let him and grabbed his brother's shoulders. All hints of anger left him and were replaced by worry, "Sam. Sammy what's wrong?" he demanded.

Sam's heart rate was still beating a mile a minute, "Dean," he paused, did he really want his brother to know what he had seen? Letting him know might be able to stop him from doing it in those _exact_ circumstances, but if he didn't let Dean know then he would be able to stop it by getting them out of that room when they stopped there.

Sam knew what he had seen was a vision, but he didn't want to believe it. Dean would never do that. He was too strong, too stubborn and he wouldn't do that to Sam. Unless Sam was dead. Sam pondered this for a second. If Sam died, as strong as Dean is, would he be able to carry on? Sam knew his brother would never admit it but Sam was the only thing he had left. Realizing Dean was still waiting for an answer he decided to keep this vision to himself for now. At least until he knew more about it. He wasn't too sure if Dean would believe him even if he did tell him, "Nothing. Um, do you want to get going now?" Sam smiled half heartedly, trying to calm his heart and went and sat in the Impala.

"Sammy, did you have a vision? Because I've seen you have visions and you usually end up looking like this after. You would tell me if you had had one right?" Dean asked sitting back in his baby. He was almost certain Sam had had some sort of vision, and if Sam didn't want to tell him it couldn't be a good one.

Sam shook his head silently. It hurt him to lie to his brother, but hadn't his brother just done the same to him? Maybe he would tell Dean when Dean told him what he had been dreaming about. Sam heard his brother sigh then start the Impala.

Sam had many fond memories attached to that car. The smell of the leather interior, the roar of the engine, and the feel of the engine making the whole car vibrate underneath him could all bring on an onslaught of these memories. But with all things that can provoke good memories, chances have it that the same object can provoke bad memories as well.

The Impala had its good share of good memories with Sam, but also bad memories too. Most of which included his small family being hurt and being rushed to hospital. He cringed at the memory that floated into his head. He had been around sixteen and Dean had been twenty. They had been on a hunt with their father when it had happened.

Dean was a fantastic hunter, he had always been. It was something he just did well naturally. They had been trying to vanquish a nasty spirit that had attached itself to an old house. They had all been in different rooms looking for an inscribing that was to play a key part to sending the spirits ass back to hell, when Sam had heard his older brother scream. It had ripped right through him. He had found his brother in the kitchen pale as death, a large kitchen knife protruding from his left thigh. There had been blood everywhere. John had run into the room to see his eldest slump against the wall. They had been lucky, the knife had just nicked the perennial artery. Any deeper and Dean would have bled out in less than three minuets.

John had carried Dean out to the Impala and put him in the back with Sam. The last thing Dean had managed to say before he passed out was, "Don't let the blood hit the upholstery." Before he had passed out. Sam remembered laughing in spite of himself. Typical, his brother was bleeding to death and his only worry was the upholstery.

Sam remembered clutching his brother in one arm, and trying to keep pressure on his brother's wound while avoiding the knife that John had been to wary to remove. They had almost lost Dean before he was rushed into the emergency of the hospital.

When Dean came to he said that the last thing he could remember was 'that little bitch spirit' throwing half a dozen knifes at him. He had managed to dodge the others but was not fast enough to miss that particular one. When he had gotten out of the hospital Dean had searched his car for any trace of blood he could find. After that, to Sam's protest he had spent a few hours cleaning it.

Sam came back into himself. They were back on the highway. He hadn't even noticed but Dean had put his music back on and was singing at the top of his lungs, if that was what you would call it. Sam looked out the window and watched the trees go past in a blur. They were heading to woodland.

It was going to be easier to track this thing down in the woods where they could clearly make out tracks, broken twigs and footprints. If it was stalking the city it would have been harder.

The song ended and the tape went silent. Sam's ears were ringing slightly. He looked over at Dean who was rubbing his eyes. He had been doing that a lot lately. Ever since they had torched that haunted house and Dean had gotten smoke in his eyes.

"You want your eye drops?"

"Nah it's cool. We have about three more hours, you should try and catch some sleep."

Sam hadn't realized until Dean had opened his mouth but he was really tired. Having visions really did take it out of Sam. He nodded his head slightly and leant back more into the seat. Closing his eyes he drifted off into a much needed, peaceful sleep.

* * *

Dean turned down the music a little, he didn't want to ruin any pleasant sleep Sam might be able to receive before the hunt. He was really curious about what Sam had seen. Dean knew Sam had had a vision. Little Sammy had never been a very good liar and Dean could read his brother better than anyone. Sam would tell him when he was ready but that still wasn't going to stop Dean worrying.

Dean's eyes returned to the road ahead to see a car pulled to the side up ahead. It had it's bonnet up and hazard lights flashing. Dean being the good Samaritan, like normal, pulled the Impala up behind the broken down car. He shot a look over at his brothers sleeping form the got out of the car.

"You having car trouble?" he asked eyeing the couple who had gotten out of the car when he had pulled up. The guy looked like your classic geek and Dean couldn't help but suppress a little laugh to himself. He was wearing a white short sleeved shirt with pens protruding from the front breast pocket, black think rimmed glasses, and Dean felt a surge of pride when he realized he was taller. The girl on the other hand was stunning. She was the same height of Dean, had a great body with long slender legs that could have belonged to a model in that mini skirt. Long brown hair fell in ringlets down to her lower back and she had Angelina Jolie lips and dark brown eyes.

"Yeah, thanks that would be so great! The car just stopped working, I think it overheated of something. I was going to put water in it to try and cool it down but we don't have any." She said in a flirty voice.

"I can take a look at it if you want. I know a thing or two about cars myself. I keep that sexy thing," he gestured over his shoulder to the Impala, "running by myself." Dean finished smiling like a proud father.

"That would be so great thanks! We've been sitting here for like three hours. You don't get many passerby's on these roads do you." She noted and took the hand of the geek in hers.

Dean nodded and limped around to take a look under the hood. _Why is it that all the ugly guys get the hot chicks!_ Not that Dean could complain, he'd had his fair share of hotties and could get almost any girl he wanted. He looked under to hood and fiddled around with a few things, checking oil and stuff. The girl was right, they did just need some water and probably an oil change. He limped back over to the Impala and grabbed the bottle of water from the back. He emptied half the bottle into the water tank thingy, and told the geek boy to start her up. The car started nicely. It was just a small Toyota corolla around an '89 model, nothing spectacular.

The girl squealed happily and clapped her hands, "Oh my god thank you so much- ah I didn't get your name."

"Dean."

"Thanks Dean. We really appreciate it." She giggled and hoped around to the passenger seat when the geek boy cleared his throat signaling it was time for them to leave.

"Yeah don't mention it. When you get into town you should maybe take it to a mechanic and get your oil changed."

They nodded and took off. Dean took a swig from the water, gargled and spat. His head was throbbing all of a sudden. He got back in the car. Sam was thankfully still asleep. Dean sighed. Damn his head hurt. He reached in the back for some aspirin and swallowed as small handful. He rubbed his eyes. Why hadn't Sam's eyes gotten stung like his? Just his luck and probably because he had been burning things for longer than Sam. He sat for a minuet trying to clear his head then skidded back onto the highway.

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"Wake up sleeping beauty. We're there." Dean prodded Sam in the ribs lightly. Sam squeezed his eyes tighter obviously not wanting to wake up and mumbled something along the lines of 'Get lost'. Dean prodded Sam again and was met with a punch in the arm.

"Oh! Oh fine, you know what I'm going to just ditch your ass if you keep being such a little shit Sammy." Dean scolded pretending to be angry and hurt. Sam smirked lightly and opened his eyes. They were in a motel car park.

"You love me to much to ditch me Dean. You couldn't do it."

"I ditched your ass once before remember."

"Yeah and if I hadn't have come back you would have been scarecrow food."

"Hey, I had a plan. Just I was waiting for the right moment to use it."

"Yeah sure." Sam said jokingly. Dean smiled and got out of the car saying something about time to spare and cleaning weapons. Sam just sat for a little longer and watched his brother carry their bags into the hotel room. Sam hadn't had such a good sleep in awhile and was actually surprised he hadn't had a nightmare. Especially after his vision about Dean. Sam felt rejuvenated as he got out of the Impala and stretched.

When Sam entered the hotel room Dean was sitting at the table surrounded by weapons. To most people it would look like he was going to war. To Sam it just looked normal. Dean wasn't looking too good in Sam's opinion. Sam wondered when the last time his brother had had a good nights sleep. It hadn't been for awhile. Dean had dark bags under his eyes, which were bloodshot, and his skin had taken on a pale color. Sam sat across the table from Dean, picked up a knife and started sharpening it.

Dean cleaned his favourite shotgun. It had been given to him as a birthday present from his father when he was sixteen. Man he wanted to sleep. Cleaning weapons was one of the most relaxing things Dean did. He didn't have to think while doing it and it had become something he did when he was stressed. Some people did yoga, Dean Winchester cleaned his weapons.

The boys sat in a comfortable silence cleaning weapons, checking maps and going over information.

"Hey whoever kills this thing buys the first round." Dean smiled. He had decided while driving that after they disposed of this evil son of a bitch's ass that they should go and get drunk. They hadn't done that in awhile.

Sam looked up from his laptop and smirked, "Dean I don't think you can afford to buy me the first round." He joked.

Dean raised his eyebrows, "That's ok Sammy, because you'll be paying for the drinks. Besides we need some extra cash so I was thinking of going to the bar and hustling some pool. Boys night out." He grinned.

Sam smiled and nodded his head. Yeah he was up for that. He would probably end up losing the bet but he didn't mind. Dean had always been the shoot first and ask questions later kind of guy. That and he always liked to get in the first shot. But still a night out with Dean did sound fun. And maybe, just maybe if he got Dean drunk enough to let the walls down he could get him talking about what was going on.

Dean finished loading the guns with silver bullets and threw his jacket on. The sun was about to set and Dean wanted to have a quick look at the woods before it got dark. He threw the weapons into a duffle bag and walked to the front door, "OK Sammy boy lets get this thing over with and then get to a bar and have a drink." he limped out to his baby and threw his bag in the boot.

Sam walked out after him and locked their motel door before hoping in the seat next to his brother. Dean started the Impala and the boys took off.

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_Okay so there it is. It will be all action or whatever next chapter. So let me know what you think. Reviews, comments, criticism, let me know..Until next time sport fans! (hehe just always wanted to say that).._

_Mishka xXx_


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Nightmare 

Summary: Dean is having nightmares about Sam. Is he sharing some of Sam's gift or his he being attacked by something out of his control..

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean or the Supernatural story but if I did..

A/N: Ok here's the next chapter. The plot is getting crazy, just deal with me. Enjoy because I'm going to bed yawns stupid photo day at school tomorrow damnit..

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Dean Winchester moved with stealth. Sam followed quickly and quietly behind the older man. Even with Dean's ankle, Sam had trouble keeping up with him. When Dean moved, he moved fast.

Dean ran, half crouching. The ground was uneven and muddy but he was closing in on the beast. Dean's heartbeat thudded in his ears and could hear two pair of shoed hitting the ground hard. Branches scratched his face as he ran through a thick grove. Dean caught a glimpse of dark fur up ahead and picked up his pace. His favourite shotgun hung loosely in his right hand.

The woods grew extremely thick and the brothers had to slow their pace to avoid running into trees. Dean ran a few more meters then stumbled out into a dark clear patch. Ghostly looking trees swayed in a circle around the clear patch and he stopped abruptly. Sam almost slammed into his brother. Dean held up a hand to tell Sam to keep quiet.

Sam breathed heavily but his eyes darted around him. They had almost just caught up to the werewolf but now it had managed to lose them. And it had led them to a clear patch, not good. This thing was maybe smarter than they gave it credit for.

Dean's ankle felt fine with the adrenaline but he was certain that after this hunt was over chances were it was going to hurt like hell. He moved warily into the clearing. It was eerily quiet and the night sky was clear. Stars were shinning down on them like thousands of tiny eyes watching them. A cold gust of wind attacked the brothers and Dean silently shivered as it went through is jacket without mercy.

A sudden howl broken the unsettling silence and out of the corner of his eye Dean saw the werewolf approaching fast, "Sam!" he said grabbing a tighter hold on his shotgun and took aim. Dean stepped instinctively in front of Sam. He waited until the thing was two meters in front of him and took the shot. The werewolf leapt just as Dean shot and the bullet skimmed its shoulder. It howled with pain and landed on top of Dean, pushing him violently to the ground. Sam being just behind Dean caught most of the force of the fall and felt himself being winded, his gun went flying.

The werewolf dug its claws into Deans chest and thin lined of blood appeared. Using a rush of adrenaline Dean kneed it in the stomach and managed to push it off him. The beast rolled as it hit the floor. It wasn't down for long before it jumped back onto his feet.

Sam had recovered his breathing and was getting to his feet when he saw the beast lunge for him. He put his hands up to try and deflect the blow but the next thing he knew Dean tackled the werewolf from its side and threw it against a tree.

"Sam!" Dean screamed before the thing bought its arm up and hit Dean hard across the face knocking him backwards to the ground. Dean hit the back of his head hard against the ground and his vision blacked out for a split second.

"Dean!" Sam screamed and his stomach jolted. He had never been able to stop the sudden feeling of sickness that came when he saw anyone he cared about hurt. Sam dove at the ground where he had dropped his gun when the thing had first jumped on them. Sam grabbed the gun and pointed it at where the werewolf had just been. But there was nothing. The beast had disappeared.

Dean slowly lifted his head. The world seamed to spin as he tried to sit up, "Sam?" he asked. Sam was by his side before the word had fully left his lips. Sam helped Dean into a sitting position.

"You okay?"

"Where did that son of a bitch go?" Dean replied ignoring Sam's concern. His eyes darting to try and see the monster.

"I don't know. I was about to shoo-" Sam said but was cut off when he was thrown backwards away from his brother. Sam hit the ground with a thud only to see the werewolf looming over his older brother. He tried to get up but felt a sharp pain in his side. He gasped and grabbed at his ribs.

The thing stood over Dean who was trying to get to his feet and fight it. Truth be told, Dean's adrenaline was just about to run out, he was exhausted from not sleeping and all the energy the hunt had taken out of him so far. He badly wanted to sleep but he knew he had to keep fighting.

"Sammy! You hurt my brother and I'm going to kill your fugly ass!" he said gritting his teeth as he pulled himself to his knees. The beast seemed to smirk at him and backhanded him across the face. Dean fell back to the ground. His head span and then all he saw was black.

"Dean!" Sam yelled at his brother's motionless form. The werewolf turned to face Sam. Its cold dark eyes seemed to sneer at him. It advanced on him its hands and sharp claws raised in a menacing fashion. Sam reached blindly for the closest thing to him and his hands closed around a large stick. Just as the werewolf's arm came down Sam bought the stick up to defend to blow.

"Stop!" a woman's voice screamed out of nowhere. The werewolf instantly halted in its attack and stood to attention. Sam however took the chance to try and pierce the beast through the heart but it quickly dodged his attack.

"That wasn't very nice Sammy. You're not supposed to play after the bells rung." The voice said mockingly. A young girl appeared from behind a tree. She was tall with dark brown hair in ringlets down to her lower back and dark brown piercing eyes. She swayed playfully to where Sam was half sitting on the ground, "Now we wouldn't want to break the rules now Sammy would we? That would end badly for Dean." She smiled sweetly.


	7. Chapter 7

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Check pervious Chapters

A/N: Hey guys! Ok so next installment is up. I'm not too happy with this (check note at the bottom). The plot is going whoosh, lol. I'll reel it back in. Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews! Love you guys..

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Sam's eyes narrowed on the woman, she knew who they were. And from the look of things she knew how to control that werewolf too. Not good. She may have looked innocent but Sam's instincts told him she was the bad guy, or in this case, the bad girl. 

Hearing his brother mumble something Sam decided to play along with her, for now, "So what are the rules? Who are you, and what do you want with us?" he questioned her. Sam, the natural questioner. Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction bought it back.

"Ah Sammy with the questions like normal. It won't hurt to let you know a little, there's nothing you can do to stop it now anyway. My name is Lucy and this is my brother Sebastian." She said in a baby voice, pointing to the werewolf, "Wave hello to Sammy Sebastian." The werewolf waved to Sammy.

_A werewolf waving. That's not something you see everyday. It's more like a werewolf ripping someone's heart out with its hand. _Sam mused the idea and a small smile crept across his face. _Dean is never going to believe this._ He looked up at Lucy to see she was patiently waiting for something. He looked blankly at her.

"Aren't you going to return the greeting Sammy? Sebastian was nice enough to wave at you. I expect manners Sam." she warned seriously.

Sam stiffened. This werewolf had just beat him and his brother up. There was no way he was going to say 'Hi' to it. Sam sat silent.

"No? Okay then. Rule number one: When I tell you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. If you don't, well lets just say there will be consequences." She smiled maliciously and turned to Dean.

Dean was lying on his side. He had blood trickling down his chest and he was deathly pale under the dirt and mud which covered his skin. His chest rose and fell slowly. Lucy mumbled something under her breath and Dean's face contorted in pain. He started to whimper and shake.

"Stop it! Okay I'm sorry! Hi Sebastian my names Sam, it's very nice to meet you." Sam said quickly. He didn't like to see Dean in pain and the whimpering was something Dean didn't do. Dean was the strong one, the family rock. He never showed his pain and now he was whimpering like a child in pain and fear. Fear and Dean Winchester were words that in Sam's mind were never to be together. Under the pain in his brother's face, Sam could see fear.

The mumbling stopped and Dean's face went blank and his shaking subsided to a mild quivering. Lucy turned back to Sam, "See that wasn't to hard now was it Sammy? I'm glad you're starting to understand. Now you asked what I want. The answer is rather simple. I want Dean. I want him to suffer like he made my brother suffer." She crouched next to Sam.

Sam was finding it difficult to breath. He figured that he had most likely broken a rib or two, but now was not the time to worry about him. He looked at Lucy. _Bitch, I'm going to kill you when I get the chance._ Still he was curious. His brother had no doubt pissed off a lot of people in his life, but what had he done to get a psycho bitch from hell after him. He checked Dean. He wasn't looking so good. In fact he was starting to resemble what he had looked like in Sam's vision. Sam waited silently for Lucy to tell him what Dean had done.

"Well Sammy. This werewolf here, Sebastian, is my brother. My little brother to be precise, and as you can probably tell from Dean, older siblings protect the younger ones. That's what I'm doing here. I want revenge for my brother. Dean Winchester came in and ruined his life and didn't even notice when he did so."

Sam was having a hard time contemplating this. His brother wouldn't have knowingly ruined someone's life would he? He waited patiently for her to continue and tried to adjust himself into a more comfortable position but stopped when pain attacked his ribs. Sam shot another look at Dean. His face was blank but he was breathing ok.

"Do you remember Cassie from Mississippi? My brother was in love with her for years. He was going to ask her to marry him but your brother Dean came in and ruined all that. Sebastian could have been happy but your brother came in and like the slut he is, took what he needed and left. Cassie wouldn't have anything to do with relationships after that and my brother was cast aside like nothing."

So that was it. This girl had to be kidding. So her brother had a crush ruined because of Dean. Big deal. Sam would have laughed but this chick seemed to know some things about black art and he wasn't in the position to make fun of her when Dean's life was possibly at stake and she had a werewolf henchman. Besides Cassie wasn't just another girl to Dean. He had loved her, told her the family secret.

"No one hurts my brother and gets away with it! So I decided we should track Dean. I know a lot about you and your family Sammy. It's not hard to learn things about you Winchester's. All your unexplained appearances at crime scenes and your dabbling with the supernatural. I met up with some cultists and they taught me a trick or two.

Sebastian here is like a broken shell. He used to be such a bright, kind boy. We followed your father too closely a year back and Sebastian got bitten by a werewolf. As you can imagine I was devastated. I made contact with my old cultist friends and they gave me a binding charm. Sebastian is harmless under my control, unless I want him to be."

Sam had had enough of this shit.

"Well you found us. So what are you gonna do? Kill us over a messed up crush?" he asked, his voice resembling defiant teenagers.

Sam was met with a backhand across the face. He looked up at Lucy. She hit hard for a girl. He licked his lip and tasted blood. _Bitch._

"Seeing as you asked so nicely, I'll let you know what we're going to do. Dean has been having nightmares the last few nights yes?" she smiled.

Sam swallowed hard. _So she was the one causing it. _He narrowed his eyes at her from under his hair. She was going to pay for this.

"I was watching you two one time a few months back and noticed that the most important thing to Dean is you. So what a better way to destroy him but on the inside with dreams of you dying because of him. So what I'm going to do is give him a nightmare about tonight, and you dying at his fault. Then Sebastian and I will take him to a motel room and leave him there to wake up. When he wakes up you won't be there and he will be convinced that what he dreamed is true. After that, well lets just say I don't think he will be to happy with living with the guilt of your supposed death. I want him to feel pain like my brother felt. An incredible loss." She smirked triumphantly.

So that was what Dean hah been dreaming about. Why hadn't he said anything! _That's right. Because he never lets anyone in. Damn it Dean why couldn't you have let your walls down for once!_ Sam glared at Lucy, "This isn't going to work. Dean's to stubborn to kill himself. And he wouldn't do anything until he was sure I was dead."

"Are you sure about that? These dreams of his are quite real to him. Why do you think he has been hiding them, and waking up as he does? How about we give you a little taste of one Sammy boy. So you can see the pain Dean's going through first hand. In fact how about I show you one that I didn't even create. One of Dean's most personal dreams that he never wanted you to know about. Yes, I think that will work wonderfully. Hold on tight Sam." Lucy sneered and began to mumble under her breath.

Sam's head began to feel groggy and his eyelids heavy. He tried to keep them open. If what she said was true, this belonged to Dean and was none of his business to see. He was still a little curious though. What had Dean dreamt that had been so important to him?

Sam saw it as Dean had. Like he was in Dean's body.

_His Mom was on the roof above his bed. She was looking at him screaming in agony. He tried to run but his legs wouldn't obey. He needed to get Dad. Dad would know what to do. He tried to rip his eyes away and look else where but they wouldn't budge off his mother. He had no control over his body. _

_Mary Winchester reached down and grabbed hold of his arms. He tried to pull away but her grip was iron clad. Her hands burnt through his skin and muscle to the bone and he screamed in response to the excruciating pain. Mary pulled him up to her and wrapped him in a tight bear hug, burning through him. _

_He screamed at the top of his lungs for her to let him go but she only held him out at arms length in front of her face. Mary smiled at her son and then her eyes turned black. She looked pure evil and she let out a cruel high pitched laugh._

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_Well hello there my darlings! Finished already:) Okay, reason I'm not happy with this is because I think that Lucy is lame and her quest is lame (but thats just me because I'm weird and never really happy with anything I do. So if you like this then yay I'm doing something right :D ). It was just the only thing I could think of that hasn't been used yet, I hope. I wanted to bring something about Cassie into this so that's how I did it. Besides I think it's better than me just saying that I'm putting Dean through this hell because I'm sick and demented lol. I have a fair idea of where this is going so hold on, it should get better. But for now, thanks for reading and if you feel so inclined please review. They make my drab, boring life happy._

Mishka xXx


	8. Chapter 8

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Checkfirst Chapter

A/N: Hello my sexy darlings! How are you all today? I hope you're fine and ready to read another chapter of my crazy story. Sorry it took me so long to update but I have been busy with school. My assessments havn't stopped for what seems like forever. That and I have been in a reading mood lately. I have been reading a whole bunch of FanFiction in most of my spare time. I'm going crazy from sleep deprivation but oh well, anyway I'm rambling so I'll just let you get on with the new chapter. Thank you to all of you that read and review, I'm writing this for you..

A/N 2: Just thought I'd put this in here, this is a dream. Just in case you didn't realise. I realisedthat I didn't put this in my little A/N thingyafter I posted it like 5 minutes ago. Sorry if it shows up twice in your email box. But so yeah this is one of Dean's 'dreams'.

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Dean's head was spinning when he opened his eyes. He scanned his surroundings quickly for the werewolf and found it looming over Sam arm raised ready to attack. Dean fought the sudden onslaught of vertigo as got to his knees. He had to get the werewolf away from his brother so he did what he was good at, "Hey you!" the werewolf turned it's head to face Dean, red eyes gleaming. "Yeah that's right you fulgy son of a bitch! Why don't you pick on someone your own size!" he seethed getting awkwardly to his feet.

The monster lowered its arm and charged at Dean. Dean however had anticipated the attack and rolled out of the way. His world span for a moment from the fast movement but he shook it off. Dean ran quickly to where he had dropped his shotgun.

"Dean look out!" Sam yelled as the werewolf lunged for him. Dean dropped to the ground and grabbed his shotgun. He looked up in time to see the monster heading for Sam. It was obviously pissed that Sam had ruined his plans to attack Dean.

Dean cocked his gun and shot but when the gun simply clicked he realized he was out of ammo, "Fuck!" he reached into his pocket and pulled out two silver bullets. He went to load the gun when his eyesight blurred up. Cursing his luck Dean blinked rapidly and blindly loaded his gun. His vision clear enough to take the shot, Dean looked to see the werewolf attack Sam. It bit his side and slashed his face. The crunch of Sam's already broken ribs resonated through the clearing at the same time he let out an ear piercing scream which seemed to make the trees shudder. Dean didn't hesitate and shot the thing that was attacking his brother.

The werewolf went down with a yelp. Dean ran to where his little brother lay, bleeding heavily. He pulled the thing off Sam and fired another shot into it to make sure it was dead. Sam was in a bad way.

"Sam. Sammy! Look at me. Just breathe your going to be fine." Dean cooed pressing down hard on the wound on Sam's side. His hands were quickly covered in his brother's warm sticky blood. Dean pressed harder trying to stop the blood flow. Sam breathing was labored as he looked up at Dean.

"Dea-" Sam tried to get out but Dean cut him off.

"Shh, Sammy don't speak. You need your strength. Just stay with me. I'm going to get us help. Come on Sammy look at me." Dean ordered his voice shaking as Sam eyelids started to close. "Shit Sammy you gotta stay awake man." He pleaded his voice laced with worry. The bleeding was too heavy and he couldn't stop the flow. Dean guessed that Sam probably had internal bleeding too.

Sam looked up at Dean, his face pale. His eyes were glassy but held a look of acceptance in them. The acceptance scared Dean. It wasn't like his brother to give up so easily or accept his fate just like that.

Dean tried to frantically think what to do. They were in the middle of nowhere and the nearest hospital was miles away and he knew Sam wouldn't last the trip. Their first aid kit was in the car, not that it would do much to help this situation. The Impala was to far away and Dean wouldn't make it back in time to be able to help Sammy with it. He could try move Sam to the car, but again the Impala was parked to far away and if he tried to move Sam he took the risk of making the bleeding worse, which would end up probably putting Sam into shock.

"Dean. I-" Sam said staring where he thought his brothers head would be.

"No Sammy. Don't even think about saying goodbye. You're not going anywhere. You can't!" Dean begged tears filling his eyes. _Oh god please let this be a dream!_

"I-I love you." Sam wheezed out.

Dean pulled in a sharp breath. There was nothing he could do to save Sam. He felt helpless and alone, two emotions that had never sat well with the older Winchester.

His hands were stained red from his baby brother's blood. It should have been his blood, not Sam's. "I love you too Sammy. Please don't die. I need you. I don't know what I'll do without you." He pleaded as Sam's eyes dropped shut and his breathing became barley there.

Dean pulled his brother close to him. His arms wrapped tightly around Sam, he prayed that the wound would somehow pass to him. But it didn't, and his brother was so still now, his breathing not present anymore. Dean pulled Sam tighter wishing that Sam would just wake up and say 'April Fools Day!'

"No, no, no Sammy. Breathe, wake up, please." Dean whispered as his voice cracked and tears welled into his eyes. His brother's head lolled back at an obscure angle. _Oh god please let this be a dream. Let me just wake up in the hotel room or the Impala or something! This cant be real,_ "Come on Dean wake up." Dean hissed at himself, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

But he didn't wake up. He was left there feeling as though his heart had just been ripped out through his chest. His breathing came in and out in a ragged form and tears bit coldly into his flushed cheeks. Dean didn't know what to do. He just wanted to sit there and cradle his baby brother's lifeless form until the world stopped spinning when it realized what had happened. What the world had lost. What he had lost.

A cold breeze came from behind Dean and he instinctively positioned himself so that it wouldn't hit Sam.

It was like the breeze had caused the realization that Sam was gone. His baby brother was gone and was never going to come back. He was never going to hear Sam's voice or see his smile ever again. He was never going to look over to the passenger seat of the Impala and see his brother sleeping peacefully, or even having a nightmare. He was never going to wake up in a motel room and see his brother researching their next gig. He was never going to hunt with Sam again. Sammy, Sam was gone.

It was like he had stepped out of his body and was watching himself cradle Sam. Dean watched himself leave Sam and run to the Impala. Watched himself grab the lighter fluid and his Zippo, watched himself run back. And then watched as he laid his baby brother out peacefully and then watched as he cremated Sam.

"I won't let you become the thing we hunted Sam. Just like we always promised each other." Dean said as he came back into his body. It was no doubt that he was in shock from what had just happened to him. His brother, the person he cared about most in the world, he just died. And there was nothing he could do to change it.

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_Well hello there again. I hope that met with your approval? Let me know. I'm hoping to reach the 50+ mark with my reviews with this chapter. If I do I will update very very soon :) Thanks for reading, and until next time my darlings._

Mishka xXx


	9. Chapter 9

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey there! WoW, I'm up to 50 reviews, and to thank you, just like I promised, the next chapter is now up. It's a little strange but I don't know, I hope you enjoy it. Leave a review if you want, I really appreciate them :) Tis my only reward.

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Sam woke up in a dark, cold and wet smelling room. His head felt heavy and as he looked around the small room he spotted a double bed. Or more likely, two double beds. Sam shook his head to try and get rid of the double vision.

There was a faint light coming from a small window high above the bed. Sam's vision cleared fully and he realized, with annoyance, that he was tied to a chair. His left ankle was tied to the left chair leg and his right to the right. His hands however were tied behind his back with what felt like harsh rope. He cursed as the rope didn't come free when he pulled at his wrists. He closed his eyes tightly and tried again harder. This time the rope cut into his wrists.

His memory had just hit him fully in the face. Dean. That crazy bitch and her dog-boy brother had stolen Dean and he was god knows where, doing god knows what. Sam gulped. He hoped Dean was doing god knows what, because that would mean he was still alive. Sam tilted his head back.

Dean's nightmare was all too fresh in his head. Had his brother been holding onto this for all this time? _Dean why didn't you let me in? Why didn't you let me help you? Ah can't you ever swallow your pride?_ Sam cursed his brother's stubborn streak. He felt sorry for Dean. His older brother shouldn't have had to have dealt with that horrible nightmare all this time with no help! But it was Dean after all. And Dean Winchester was an expert when it came to bottling up his emotions, and obviously his nightmares.

A small smile crept across his face. He was going to make sure that he and Dean had a chick flick moment when all this was over. But for now he had to get out of this god forsaken room.

The young Winchester bit his lip as he fought hard against his bonds. The rope cut into his skin more and more but he kept going. He bucked violently in the chair, the memory of his vision suddenly all too real in his head. Sam thought back to his early thoughts about the vision, that Dean would only do that if Sam was dead. This Lucy bitch had made it all to clear that that was exactly what the older boy would believe when he woke up to find Sam not there.

Sam bit his lip harder drawing blood and pulled again ignoring the warmth from his blood which had how appeared from the cuts the rope had made in his skin. He pulled again as hard as he could and then sat back panting. The ropes hadn't budged, if anything, they felt tighter.

The sound of a lock clicking to his right made Sam open his eyes and notice a door that he hadn't noticed there before. A geeky looking guy walked in holding a tray. On the tray was a sandwich and a glass of milk.

The boy looked terrible. Pale and exhausted, and Sam realized that this must be Sebastian. _How long have I been out?_ Sam kept his eyes locked on the man and set a dirty look on his face, "Where, the hell is my brother?" he asked, his tone laced with venom.

The man flinched at the tone but moved towards the bed and put the tray down there. He took a seat and looked at Sam. His eyes were magnified by his think glasses and it reminded Sam of an insect. Sam stared back and the man looked away, clearly sensing that Sam was the alpha male in this room.

Sebastian rose and moved towards Sam clutching what looked like a napkin firmly in his hands. He hesitated and then tucked it into the front of Sam's shirt acting like a bib. The small act made the young Winchester furious and Sam tried to attack the man. Sebastian flinched at the sudden movement and took a step back.

"Lucy told me I had to take care of you so that's what I'm trying to do Sammy. Please don't make it hard for me." Sebastian said in a squeaky voice, "Now, I made you a sandwich and you must be hungry after last night so I'll feed it to you now if you don't mind." He said bringing the sandwich from the tray over and holding it near Sam's mouth.

"Where the fuck is my brother?" Sam sneered. The man was trying to baby him and it only served to make him even madder. _This guy must be crazy to think I want a fucking sandwich at a time like this!_ The thought of food at the moment made Sam feel sick. He had to get out, he had to find Dean.

"Please Sammy. Lucy will be back soon, she just went to drop your brother off to his new hotel room. She says we have to keep you for another few days and then we can let you go. So for now I think you should eat, it'll make you feel better. It's peanut butter. Open wide Sammy." Sebastian said timidly moving the sandwich towards Sam's mouth again.

Sam glared at him and moved his head back, "I don't want a fucking sandwich, I want my brother."

"Well I wanted Cassie! We don't always get the things we want!" Sebastian spat out and threw the sandwich against the wall.

Sam watched Sebastian pull in a deep breath in an effort to calm himself and then walk out of the room.

* * *

Lucy dragged Dean into the hotel room. She breathed in deep and heaved the heavy man onto the bed. Dean wasn't fat, just muscle. She stood on the end of the bed and pulled him higher and into a more comfortable position. 

The young woman ran back out to the Impala and got the Winchester boy's bags. She placed Sam's near the other bed and Dean's near where he lay unconscious. Lucy put the keys on the bedside table next to where Dean was and turned to look at him. His face was contorted in pain as the dream she had thought out played inside his head. He was covered in blood. She had poured pigs blood over him before they left the forest. She felt confident that he wouldn't know it wasn't Sam's.

She studied the face of the man she had grown to loath since her brother had stumbled into her room having a panic attack at what had happened between him and Cassie. She leant down to him and kissed him softly on the forehead, "Good night Dean Winchester. May you feel what it's like to have someone you love ripped away from you." She smiled and exited the room.

* * *

Dean was shaking and his head throbbed when he woke. He opened his eyes and looked up at the cracked ceiling of their motel room. Blinking his vision clear and rubbing a hand over his eyes to remove sleep, Dean took a quick look around the crummy hotel room. Sam was nowhere in sight. 

Dean propped himself up onto his elbows and his ribs exploded in pain. A sudden voice in his head screamed at him, _At least you feel something! You're still alive, not like Sammy! You killed him!_ Dean breathed in sharply at the words. No, Sammy couldn't be dead. He was just in the bathroom. It had just been another bad dream, it had to have been.

Ignoring the general soreness of his body and Dean hopped off the bed. His ankle seared with pain just as he had predicted it would. He walked over to the closed bathroom door. Sam was probably just being a bitch, hiding in there when Dean needed him. _He's not dead, it was just another fucking dream. That's all it was._

The elder Winchester brother knocked on the bathroom door, "Hey Sammy you little shit! Hurry up in there! I gotta take a leak." He yelled. That's when he noticed the blood covering his hands. He looked at them and took in a painful breath. _Blood, no, it can't be. Its just paint, yeah that's it paint._ Dean exhaled calmly, trying to believe his thoughts._ Sammy you little shit, starting this pranking game again._

But it wasn't paint. And Dean knew that. He knew it was blood. He knew it was his brother's blood but he just didn't want to believe it. Sam couldn't be dead. But then Dean remembered the blood that had covered his hands as he had tried to stop the blood flow. Dean looked down at his shirt, the front of it was also covered in blood.

Dean shook his head fiercely, which in the current condition of his body, was not a good idea. He bit down on bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. _No, no, no this can't be happening! _

But it was happening. Dean ran out the front, his ankle again forgotten and searched the Impala for his brother. But Sammy was not there.

Dean searched the memories he had of last night and closed his jaw so tight it hurt as he did so. The werewolf, the attack, Sam bleeding, Sammy dying. Sam dying, in his arms. His body shook with rage, guilt and pain.

He couldn't, no he wouldn't, have let Sam die. But he had. Sam was gone, his Sammy, his baby brother was gone. Dean picked up the bedside table lamp and threw it hard at the wall. It shattered into thousands of pieces when it hit.

The young hunter hadn't even realized he was back in his motel room until he started to trash it. Only one thought going through his head. Sam.

* * *

_o.O! Well now, weird chapter and if anyone was wondering, I was craving a peanut butter sandwich when I wrote this lol. Actually I still am but we're out of bread damn it! But anyway, hope you enjoyed this, if you did, let me know, if you didn't let me know how I can make it better. ;) Till next time my sexy readers! And to Sammy and Tara, my darlings, this chapter was for you. Thanks for the non-stop encouragement.._

_Mishka xXx_


	10. Chapter 10

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. I made it longer than normal for you though as an apology or something ;) I had some serious writers block with this one. It's my own fault for putting Sam in a position thatI hadn't thought about how I was going to get him out of. If that made any sense. But anyway without further adieu, I present Chapter 10!

* * *

When Sebastian came back into the room he was calm again. Sam noticed his eyes were puffy and looked like he had been crying. Sebastian sat down on the double bed and looked at the young hunter who was still tied to the chair.

Sam was tired and his wrists and ankles burned. The youngest Winchester had been trying to get free of the rope since Sebastian had left the room. Sam knew his brother was strong, but he didn't know how long he would last thinking Sam had died because of him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you before Sammy. Would you like me to make you another sandwich?" Sebastian asked quietly.

Sam went to yell at the man who seemed to act like a scared boy but then changed his mind. It was obvious he wasn't going to be getting out of these ropes anytime soon. At least on his own that was. He was going to have to try another tactic.

"That's okay Sebastian. Thanks for the offer but I'm not really hungry right now. Maybe a little later." Sam said with a friendly tone and forced himself to smile, even though on the inside he was screaming.

Sebastian nodded slowly. He looked a little suspicious of Sam's sudden nice streak but put it down to the young man accepting what was happening to his brother.

Sam's gasp bought Sebastian out of his musings. He looked up to see the young hunter's face contorted in pain. Sebastian stood up and stared at Sam, "Sammy are you okay?" he asked, his tone timid.

Sam smiled inwardly. His geeky captor was going to fall for it, "My wrists, they burn! Oh god they, they hurt so much! Please help me!" he cried in a fake pain.

The shorter man came towards Sam with caution. He looked behind the hunter to see blood dripping down his hands from deep lacerations in his wrists. Sebastian stood back to face Sam, concern clearly written on his face, "Shh, don't worry. Lucy will be back soon. She'll know what to do. Can you hold on until then?" he cooed.

Sam made himself hyperventilate. His plan was to get dog-boy to untie his hands, then he would knock him out, get the hell out of this blasted room and find Dean. He just hoped he wouldn't be too late.

Sebastian looked scared. His eyes were wide and his mouth slightly open. His hands were held out in front of him to try and calm Sam. But Sam kept up his sherade and didn't answer his captor.

* * *

Tears streamed down Dean's face. It wasn't fair. First he had lost his Mom and now Sam. His father was god knows where, could be dead for all he knew. Oh god. His father! How as he going to tell john what happened!

Johns face flashed into Dean's mine. Right after the Shtriga had almost killed Sammy because of him. John had looked at him different. Would his father even be able to look at him now?

A thousand different could-be situations ran through deans mind. John was going to disown him. He would tell dean he had no son's and that Sammy's death was all his fault. Oh god. No. No his father wouldn't say that. His father would tell him it wasn't his fault and there was nothing different that he could have done. The other voice in Dean's head told him different. _You're alone. No one loves you. Why would anyone love a pathetic failure like you! Moms dead because of you, you killed Sammy and your father hates you!_

"No. It's not true. Oh Christ it should have been me! I let Sam die, I killed him." Dean sobbed, his breathing hiccupping and out of his control.

Pure rage and grief took hold of Dean and he threw his fists at the closest thing to him which happened to be a wall. His fists went through the flimsy wall six times before he even knew he had acted. He pulled his hands towards him and gazed blankly at his bruised and bloody knuckles.

Dean retreated back a few steps away from the wall but stopped when his ankle touched something. He looked down to see Sam's bag. New tears welled up in his already blurry eyes as he bent down and picked up the bag containing most of his baby brother's possessions.

* * *

Lucy watched as Dean placed Sam's bag on the bed with as much care as one would use while handling a new born baby. She was sitting outside his hotel room in the crisp night air listening to the dull thump of loud music from the bar down the street from the motel. It was a perfect little spot that she had chosen a few days earlier. She could see inside the room but couldn't been seen.

She smiled to herself as dean pulled out one of Sam's t-shirts and held it scrunched up against his face. The older Winchester boy looked destroyed. His whole body was shaking with grief. His face was red and he eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying.

It wouldn't be long until he lost control completely. Lucy pulled out her mobile phone and dialed Sebastian's number.

* * *

Sam stopped hyperventilating, let his eyes roll into the back of his head and faked passing out.

"Sammy? Sammy! Come on please wake up!" Sebastian basically panicking started to shake the young hunter. Sebastian wasn't used to this kind of thing. Sure he was a grown man, around Dean's age, and a werewolf to boot, but he was really like a child. Lucy kept him on a very short leash so to speak, "Shit. Shit!"

Sebastian not knowing what else to do moved behind Sam and started to untie Sam's hands. Lucy's voice ran through his head yelling at him not to untie the boy. She had made that very clear to him before she had left with Dean. But Lucy had never mentioned what to do if a situation like this came up. Besides, the boy was unconscious, what harm could be done? All he was going to do was untie him, bandage his wrists and then tie him back up.

Sebastian had one hand untied when his phone went off.

Sam heard the phone ring, it was the chance he had been waiting for. He snapped into action hitting his unprepared captor in the face with his untied hand.

The geeky man had not been expecting the blow from the supposedly unconscious boy and fell back onto the ground hard. Sam speedily untied his other hand and reached down to untie his legs.

Sebastian however didn't stay down for to long. The hit hadn't hurt because of his werewolf blood but had caught him off guard. He quickly got to his feet and lunged at Sam who still had only managed to untie one leg.

Everything happened so fast. Sam jumped up and kicked out at Sebastian with the leg still attached to the chair, hoping the extra weight would help the impact. The kick was means for Sebastian's head but his midsection as Sam was not strong enough in his current state to lift it any higher. Sam hoped that the extra weight of the chair would help make the blow stronger. The wooden chair shattered and momentarily winded Sebastian.

Sam took the opportunity to pick up one of the broken chair legs and smash it over Sebastian's head with a sickening crack. His captor winced and dropped to his knees but did not lose conscious like Sam had hoped he would. The blow would have killed a normal person.

Blood trickled down Sebastian's face from under his hairline in a thin red stream. The hit didn't keep him down for long though and he lunged at Sam. The youngest Winchester fell back and landed on a broken piece of the chair. His ribs had already been in pain but now they were on fire.

Sebastian was practically sitting on Sam and for some reason he thought back to the little sparing match he had had with Dean back in Stanford. Dean had been on top of him then as Sebastian was now. Dean, he had to get to dean before it was too late. Using energy that Sam didn't even know he had had, he quickly flipped positions so that he was over Sebastian.

As Sam looked down at his captor below him, something inside him snapped. He thought of his mom, he thought of Jessica, of all the fights he had had with his father. Of the normal life he had never been able to have. He thought of all the times anyone he loved had been hurt. He thought of Dean lying in that hospital bed and the way he had accepted that he was going to die. He thought of all the people who had gotten hurt or died because they hadn't been able to get to them in time.

He thought of the look that Dean's eyes sometimes flashed when he was too tired of hurt to wear his protective mask. It was a look of guilt, pain and fear. Dean had too much guilt burdened on him from things that weren't his fault and that he couldn't have changed. Dean shouldn't have that guilt. Dean shouldn't have that fear either. Sam glared at his captor. Sebastian and his bitch sister had just put the death of him on his brother's shoulders.

All the pent up emotions that Sam had been carrying with him came out in a cascade of violent punches to Sebastian's face. Every time he heard the thwack of his fists connecting with the skin underneath him Sam felt that he was making things better.

Sebastian didn't know what had hit him. Even with his werewolf strength he couldn't dislodge the young hunter off him. He couldn't cry out, and couldn't do anything to stop the brutal beating he was receiving. After the first fifteen punches or so he blacked out, choking on his own blood and teeth.

After around ten minutes of non-stop hitting Sam relented and rolled off the bloody pile of flesh below him. Sam was breathing hard, physically spent. He didn't stay down long though. He untied the broken chair leg from his own leg and stood up shakily.

The unconscious guy on the ground could no longer be recognized as Sebastian. Or a person for that fact. He looked more like a pile of blood, teeth, hair and mushy flesh. Sam looked down at his shaking hands. They were covered in blood and his knuckles were split open. Most likely from when he had knocked the poor guys teeth into the back of his head.

Sam was vaguely aware that Sebastian's mobile phone was still ringing. He pulled it out of the boys pocket and looked at the caller display. 'LUCY'. Sam pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear.

"Sebastian it's about time you answered the fucking phone! Are you okay? I won't be much longer. I give it about another half an hour and our little 'dean problem' should be over." came Lucy's voice.

Sam clenched the fist that wasn't holding the phone. Little 'dean problem'? She was talking abut Sam's big brother like he was an insect that needed to be exterminated. This bitch was going down. Sam listened hard for any sounds that might give away her position.

"Sebastian are you there?"

Sam kept quiet. _Let her suffer. Let her feel worry._ He could faintly hear the sound of bass filled music. It could belong to a bar. Hotels in small towns like this were usually near bars. It upped the local trade. Sam ran a mental check of the hotels near bars in this town. There were two that he knew about. He prayed silently they were the only ones.

"Hello? Sebastian?" came Lucy's voice which was now sounding desperate.

Sam hung up plunging everything into silence. He ran his hands through his hair. He didn't have much time and he knew it. Dean must be bad for that bitch to boast like that.

Sam rubbed his eyes wearily and left the room. He was going to find dean. He had to.

* * *

_Just in case anyone was wondering, I had a little bit ofPMS when I wrote thisand I kinda took it out on Sebastian. Poor guy. But anyway let me know what you think or if you have any ideas or comments...I'm hoping to get to65+ reviews for this chapter ;) But until then..Catch you later and thanks for reading!_

_Mishka xXx_


	11. Chapter 11

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey guys! WoW thank you all so much for the reviews! So In return, another chapter ;) Enjoy.

* * *

Lucy silently seethed. The young hunter, Sam. He must have done something to Sebastian. No, no Sebastian probably just didn't hear the phone or something her voice of reason told her. He was sleeping maybe. God only knew the boy was always tired. He spent one night as a werewolf and spent the next month, until the moon was full again, trying to re-coop. Besides, Sam was tied to a chair. There was no way he would have been able to get out of that rope. She had tied the knots herself. 

She hit the redial button again and waited silently, only to have the voice recorded message say 'The person you have dialed is currently out of area or has their phone switched off. Please try again later.' Lucy resisted the urge to throw her phone clear across the street and put it back into her pocket instead.

Something was wrong and she knew it. Biting her lip she decided she would wait until Dean was dead before she went back to the hotel where she had left Sam and Sebastian. Getting revenge was the most important thing to her, and she was sure it was the same for her little brother.

Lucy smirked as Dean went back to trashing the hotel room. Good thing she put it in his name, or the name on a credit card she had found in his wallet that is. She didn't want to be held responsible for the damages to the room. She almost laughed as Dean upturned the table in the middle of the room. She sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around her, the cold wind going through her jacket.

* * *

Dean breathed in the scent from Sam' t-shirt. The worn material comforting, as was his little brother's scent. He remembered images of Sam when they were younger. Sparing under their father's watchful eye, playing hide and seek (a game John liked because he believed it helped build the boy's tracking skills), and laying in bed late at night talking about everything under the sun. Dean smiled. They were good times. 

Sam's dead face pushed its way in front of the happy memories. Dean felt his heart constrict and cried out painfully. He put the t-shirt down and lunged at the table in the middle of the room, throwing it hard against a wall. He turned on the beds punching the pillows as if they had caused him all this pain. He ripped them apart making feathers fly everywhere. He remembered having pillow fights with Sammy when they were bored out of their skulls from being cooped up in shitty hotel rooms for days on end.

Pulling the sheets off the bed Dean proceeded to tear them apart. The sound of ripping material and his own ragged breathing filling the awful silence that should have been filled with him and Sam discussing the hunt or girls or just bantering with each other.

When the sheets were a pile of messy strips all over the room Dean turned and lashed out at a wall. He kicked and punched it hard, barely feeling the pieces of flimsy plywood imbedding themselves into his hands. Dean turned so he could slide down the wall. He crumpled on the ground and laughed at the pieces of jagged plywood in his hands.

Grabbing one of the bigger pieces he pulled it out slowly reveling in the pain. It splintered and broke away under his skin as he pulled it out. Dean stood up again as another wave of grief took hold of him, making him throw the mattresses off the beds.

Dean smiled when he tripped over his bag. He opened it, not wanting to touch it much as if it would burn him. It was his things. Things that belonged to him and were therefore like him. Dean shuddered with self hatred. He pulled out his favourite Metallica t-shirt, the one covered in blood stains. Dean had to close his eyes against the sudden wave of nausea. _It's all your fault, you killed him. If you hadn't been so fucking slow, so clumsy, so stupid it might have been you and not him. You killed him! You killed Sammy!_ With a tight grip on the t-shirt Dean ripped the worn material in half.

Jumping to his feet he emptied the contents of his bad and threw it around the room. He hated it. He hated everything that was his. But most of all he hated himself.

A glint of metal caught his eye and he noticed the knife he usually slept with on the floor in the middle of the room. Well maybe he didn't hate everything. This object looked promising.

* * *

Sam pulled up out the front of an old red brick motel. He jumped out of the car he had stolen and ran to the front desk. He was greeted by a young teenage girl who sat slumped in her chair with her feet on the desk. She was chewing on bubble gum and reading a girl magazine. Her was hair in high pigtails and her lips covered in bright pink lipstick. She didn't even raise her eyes as Sam entered the room. 

"Hey. I'm Officer Taylor. I'm looking for a man who might have come here earlier tonight. He's about six one, mid twenties, brown hair, green eyes. He might have been with a brunette girl. You haven't checked anyone with that description in here have you?" Sam asked trying to keep his tone calm despite his anxiousness.

The girl didn't even bother to look up from her magazine. She just blew another gum bubble and shrugged as a reply.

Sam fumed. This girl was trying his patience, "Please Miss, we have reason to believe this man is armed and extremely dangerous." Sam tried to appeal to her sense of security. The girl just shrugged so Sam continued, "He's wanted in twenty states for raping and murdering young girls like yourself. Please did anyone fitting that description check in here? Or a tall brunette woman, who could pass for a model?" He tried and kicked himself mentally for saying things like that about Dean, because his brother would _never_ do anything like that.

This caught the girl's attention and she tore her eyes away from an article she had been reading about Brad Pitt, "Nah sorry. No one like that checked in here tonight that I know of. You could try ol' Bill's place. It's just a mile or so down the road there. They have a killer bar around the corner. If I was some psycho I'd go there to hold up. It's very out of the way and not many tourists know 'bout it." She said pointing down the road.

The girl's eyes met Sam for the first time and grew wide. The young guy in front of her looked like hell, he was covered in blood, pale and seemed generally exhausted, "Oh my god! Mr do you want me to call you an ambulance?"

But the girl didn't get an answer as Sam bolted out the door and jumped into the stolen car. He gripped the steering wheel for a few seconds trying to compose himself. He was going to find Dean. He would be at the next hotel, Sam just knew it. He hadn't know about Bill's place and was glad he had gotten that bit of information because the other hotel he was going to try was another half an hour in the opposite direction. Taking a deep breath Sam skidded out of the driveway hard and tore off down the road.

* * *

Dean held knife against his wrist and exhaled loudly. It would be so easy, just a flick of his wrist. Then he could see Sammy and his Mom again. He could end all this pain. He laughed despite himself. 

He was never going to see Sam or his Mom again. If there was a Heaven and a Hell, his Mom and Sam would be in Heaven. He, on the other hand, would end up in Hell. For killing his brother. At least there would be things to hunt. Although in Hell he would probably end up the hunted instead of the hunter. And God only knows how many pissed of creatures were down there waiting for him.

Dean was just about to end it when he realized something. His father. Sure he was going to hate him but he should at least know what had happened. At least he wouldn't be left hanging like Dean had been when John had deserted him. Dean lowered the blade and crawled to where the bedside table was. He remembered putting his phone there when he had come in.

It took him a little while to find it under all the feathers and torn up sheets but when he did he stared at it. '2 missed calls'. Dean checked the number, he didn't recognize it so he ignored it. _Probably just someone who wants us to do a job._ Well there was no way in hell he was going to do another job now. He had done his last job. He was out.

Sitting on his knees Dean dialed in his father's number and waited until the familiar voce message came through. Dean waited for the beep and then in a voice as stable as he could muster it he began to speak, "Hey Dad, it's me. Umm, something, something happened. It's Sammy. I-," Deans voice broke into a small squeak, unable to try and keep his tone calm any longer, "I tried to stop it, but it, it happened so fast Dad. Sammy, he, his. He didn't, umm. Oh god Dad, he didn't make it." He rushed out in one breath, "I'm so sorry Dad. I couldn't stop it. It's all my fault, oh god his dead because of me!"

Dean broke down completely. Sobbing uncontrollably into the phone, "Oh god Dad. I-I don't know w-what to d-do! I'm so s-sorry. Oh god! Christ it s-should h-have been m-m-me! I'm going to m-make it me! Goodbye D-dad, I'm sorry." Dean choked out and hang up the phone. The call had just cemented it in his mind. He knew what he had to do.

* * *

Sam sped down the road as fast as he could without losing control of the crappy car he had boosted. He saw a small neon sign saying 'Bill's Place' flashing up ahead. He cursed under his breath when Dean still didn't answer his phone. 

The idea had come to Sam like the bullet from a gun. How could he have been so stupid! Call Dean. Call him and let him know you're okay. Maybe, just maybe if Dean picked up the phone Sam could convince him that he is okay. But in his heart he knew that if Dean had picked up the phone it would have just freaked him out hearing his supposedly dead brother on the other line.

Hitting the re-dial button Sam held the phone hard against his ear. This time he was met with a beeping, letting him know that Dean was using his phone. Sam's heart almost jumped out of his throat. If Dean was using the phone he was still alive! Sam still had time.

Slamming on the breaks Sam skidded into the driveway of the hotel like a bat out of hell. Dean would be proud of his very non-nanna-ish driving. That or he would be pissed that Sam was driving like a crazy person and putting himself in danger. Sam guessed a little of both.

Leaving the car on Sam jumped out and ran to the front desk as fast as his battered body would let him. Behind the old desk was an elderly lady who looked to be around 70.

Sam gave the most sincere smile he could manage, "Excuse me ma'am. I'm Officer Taylor. I'm looking for a man who might have checked in here last night or early this morning. He's around six one, short brown hair, green eyes. He's in his mid twenties. He might have checked in with a tall brunette woman. Can you think of anyone fitting that description?"

The old lady looked up at Sam, her eyes wide as they took in the ragged appearance of the young man in front of her, "Are you okay Officer?" she asked, concern clearly in her voice.

"Yeah I'm fine. But please, it's really important I find this man. You haven't checked in anyone with that appearance have you ma'am?" Sam replied trying not to snap at the old lady.

She contemplated what he had said for a second and then nodded, "Yeah I remember a young brunette woman checking her cousin in here last night. She drove a big black car. He was out cold in the passenger seat and she said that he had had too much to drink so they needed a place to stay. Very nice young girl, very pretty. I checked them into room 305. Is this anything I should be worried about?" she asked slowly.

Sam's heart made another leap out his throat. Dean was here. He'd found him. He was going to be okay, "No. Could I please have the spare key to the room ma'am? I need to speak with this man urgently."

"Sure thing Officer." She said handing him, "There you go. The room's just around the back. On your left."

Sam nodded thanks, took the key and bolted from the small room. He jumped back into the car and sped around the back row of rooms.

* * *

Dean grabbed his knife and headed into the small bathroom. He dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and threw up the contents of his empty stomach. The acid burned his throat as he spat. He wiped his mouth nonchalantly and stood up on wobbly legs. 

Gripping the sides of the sink he stared into the mirror. The person in the mirror looked like him, yet was not him. His skin was a pale yellow, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. He generally looked sick. Looking down at his hands he saw they were still covered in Sam's blood. He grabbed the small coarse soap, turned on the tap and scrubbed hard at his hands. The blood came off but to Dean it was still there. He still felt dirty.

A new thought came to the elder Winchester as he stood and grasped the sink for dear life with his now wet hands. The dreams he had been having. Were they a warning of what had happened? Each one he had lost Sam in and now he really had lost Sam. They must have been some form of warning. Maybe Sam wasn't the only one who had dreams of what was going to happen.

Why had he ignored them? There was clearly something not right with them to begin with. Maybe that was it. He had ignored the warning signals and lost Sam because of that. It was his fault.

This 'discovery' brought a new wave of guilt and grief onto the already guilty Winchester. He should have told Sam about the dreams! He should have let his fucking walls down, swallowed his pride and maybe none of this would have happened. He had failed his brother twice now. He could have prevented it! He was sure of that.

But then what about Sam's vision? Had the boy seen his own death? He had been pretty shaken by it. Oh god, had he known what was going to happen but went on the hunt anyway? This new thought made Dean fly his fist at the mirror. Shards of broken glass entered his already battered hands.

Dean let out a yelp of pain and defeat and slumped to the ground. He looked around him, tears in his eyes. He could have stopped it. He could have stopped it all. He should have never pulled Sam away from Stanford. He should have never let the boy take up hunting again. He should have told Sam about his dreams. He should have made Sam tell him about his vision. He should have, he should have done _something_.

But he had been selfish. He had wanted Sammy all to himself again. He was to happy to have his little brother back with him that he had ignored the signs that it could cost him Sammy all together, as it had now done.

Dean Winchester broke completely. No longer able to sustain the weight of the guilt on his shoulders. Of pain in his heart he reached for his knife and a long shard broken mirror on the ground. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He would do this last thing. Then it would all be over. The pain would stop, the guilt would stop. He would stop.

Taking the piece of broken mirror Dean held it against his wrist. With a shaking hand he cut deep into his skin, hitting the veins, letting the blood flow, "I'm sorry Sammy." He mumbled before switching the mirror into the other hand.

* * *

Sam pulled the car up hard. He didn't even wait for it to roll back into a stopped position before he jumped off and ran to room 305. He noticed the Impala glistening in all her glory out the front of his brother's room. Taking a deep breath, trying to prepare him for what he might see, Sam put the key in the lock and opened the door.

* * *

_Hey! So, What'd you think? Boring, funny angsty, crap? Please let me know as I'm not to sure about what I really thought about this chapter. I know it's not some of my best work. If I had to describe it in one word, I'd use 'Primitive'. I think it lacked something, but I just can't put my finger on it. But anyway let me know what you think, I'm hoping to reach, umm, 70 reviews :) That's 12 from what I have now. Hope it's not to big to ask but you know, the more reviews I get the faster the chapters come up, and I'm sure you brilliant people can muster 12 reviews or more ;) Thanks guy's and until then!_

_Mishka xXx_


	12. Chapter 12

Title, Summary, Disclaimer and Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey guys! I'm like speechless. The reaction I got from my last chapter was like, WoW! so thank you all so much! This chapter is short and I apologize for that but I finally have a grip on where I will probably be heading from here. So, please read and hopefully enjoy.

* * *

Dean looked up as the sound of a door opening bought him back from what he was doing. One wrist was bleeding freely and he still had to do the other one. _Can't a guy kill himself in some fucking peace! No I suppose not, I'm not that lucky._ Dean poked his head around the bathroom door to see a shocked looking Sammy standing in the middle of the room with his mouth open.

_Sammy! What the hell? No, no that's not Sammy. Dean you finally lost it. His dead and you're seeing things. Just hurry up and get the other wrist done._ Dean leaned his head back and squeezed his eyes shut tight. Maybe he was seeing things because of his exhausted state. Sammy was dead, he had died in Dean's arms. There was no way in hell he could be here now, looking so bloody shocked.

Sam froze in the middle of the room. It was exactly like his vision. But Dean wasn't anywhere that he could see. _Oh god, please don't let me have been too late. Not here, not like this!_ Then Sam saw something that made him want to cry and laugh at the same time. He saw Dean poke his head around the corner. He was alive!

"Dean! Oh Christ Dean! It's okay. I'm okay, you're okay." Sam blurted out rushing towards his brother, seeing the damage his bother had already managed to do to himself. Sam stopped short, standing in front of Dean when his older brother looked up to him and held the piece of broken mirror to his other wrist threateningly.

Sam held his hands up non threatening way. Dean had a wild look in his eyes, a look that Sam had never seen before and instantly didn't like. It was a look that told Sam that his brother was way over the edge, and if pushed slightly would fall.

Dean was having trouble focusing on what was happening. Maybe he was dead already, maybe one wrist had been enough. He looked up at what ever it was that looked like his Sammy and laughed, "I'm okay, Sammy's okay." He said in a mocking tone, "Are you fucking blind! Get away from me. You're not him. You're not Sammy. Sammy's dead! He died in my arms!" he sneered pressing the broken mirror down harder. What the hell was this thing? Why was everything so hell bent in making his time on earth hard?

Sam felt his heart tear in two. Dean had always been the strong one, but now he had fallen apart. _What now college boy?_ If it was any other time Sam would have laughed that his inner voice sounded just like Dean, "No Dean. It's me, I'm Sammy and I'm right here. They didn't kill me, you didn't kill me." Sam searched his mind quickly for something to say that would try and make this situation better.

Dean smiled. Not a kind smile but a sad smile, "If he's not dead then why am I covered in his blood?"

"Dean that's not my blood. Look I'm fine. Okay you know those nightmares you were having?" Sam paused as Dean flinched at the word nightmares, "They were caused by some sick twisted bitch that has it in for you okay. She was using dark magic or something. The one you had before about me dying. It's not real. Dean please you're bleeding, I gotta fix that wound." Sam said pleading with his puppy dog eyes.

When Dean didn't say anything Sam took it as an okay and moved closer to his older brother.

The older hunter's eyelids dropped a little. This was too much. He couldn't deal with this. He wouldn't deal with this. But what if what this thing that looked like Sam said was true? Maybe Sam really was alive. Maybe, just maybe that thing standing there was actually his little brother. Dean opened his eyes to see Sam moving towards him cautiously. Dean flinched back, "Stay away from me. Last warning." He said slurring his words slightly and raising his knife at the worried boy in front of him.

Sam stopped dead. This wasn't working. Dean wasn't going to believe him. At least not right now. He watched as the arm Dean held the knife in dropped slightly. The weapon proving too heavy for his brother to hold up much longer.

"Dean please you've lost a lot of blood. You have to let me dress the wound damn it." Sam said his tone now like their father's was when he gave an order.

Dean nodded his head slowly. Everything was starting to get fuzzy. He could almost swear he was sixteen and his Dad was giving him an order, and Dean being the good little soldier he is, wasn't about to start disobeying orders now.

Sighing in relief the younger Winchester moved forward slowly so as not to startle the older man. He crouched down in front of Dean and gently took the knife and piece of broken mirror from his brother and threw them out of reach into the bedroom.

Sam grabbed a towel from behind him and pressed it hard on the wound. Dean was bleeding too fast. The shock from seeing his supposedly dead little brother show up to say 'hi', had upped his heart rate, which in turn had upped his bleeding. Sam was shocked to feel how cold and clammy Dean's skin felt and swore under his breath for not getting here sooner.

The older hunter closed his eyes to try and rid himself of the dizziness he was feeling. He was suddenly overcome with a wave of tiredness and all he wanted to do was sleep. Fall asleep right now and never wake up. Through the haze he could hear Sam's voice telling him to _stay awake_ and _talk to me_ and _keep your eyes open damn it_. It was the worry in the voice that made Dean realize this person was his little brother. It was his Sammy. He didn't know how, and didn't care how but he had his Sammy back.

Maybe it was his guardian angel. Dean smiled softly at the thought. Of course that would be just Dean's luck. Instead of getting some hot blonde clad in skimpy white lingerie he would have Sam as his guardian angel. _I suppose that would make the little geek happy being able to bug me for the rest of time_. Dean wouldn't admit it but he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Dean open your eyes! Come on man you can do it." Sam said loudly searching for his phone. He had to get help, and he had to get it fast. Sam smiled when his older brother opened his eyes slightly and a small smile spread across his face.

"Hey Sammy boy. You wanna go to the park? Dad said we have to do some sparring and it's a nice day outside." Dean said wearily.

The smile from Sam's face dropped. _Shit his delusional._ Sam reached forward and lifted his brother's head more into the light. His face was extremely pale and eye's were starting to roll into the back of his head, "Shit. Dean stay with me man," he tapped the side of Dean's face lightly, "Talk to me about something. Tell me about, tell me about the last girl you hooked up with." _That should get his attention._

Dean exhaled loudly, his head was spinning but some words made it through the haze. _Girl_ and _hooked up with_. He smiled to himself. Yeah he would love a girl right about now. A nice brunette, because no matter what he or Sam said, he liked brunettes more than blondes on most occasions, "Mmm, yeah a nice brunette. Some fries would be nice, and a beer." He slurred. God he was so tired, and he was getting cold.

He wanted to sleep so badly. It felt like someone had wrapped him in cotton and he was floating. _Well at least Sammy's okay. I think._ He thought before plunging into a cold darkness.

Sam finally managed to find the mobile he had stolen from Sebastian. He dialed quickly.

"911, please state your emergency." came the bored voice of the operator.

"Yeah, I need an ambulance to a motel called Bill's Place. My brother, he had an accident. His bleeding really badly and I can't stop the flow. Please hurry, we're in room 305." He spat out hurriedly.

"Okay I've dispatched an ambulance, they should be with you in 5 minutes. Keep pressure on the wound. Is he breathing? Alert?" she asked.

"Yeah he's still breathing. But he feels really cold. He's alert but his not making much sense." Sam paused noticing Dean' slumped and not moving form, "Dean? Dean wake up! Shit his lost consciousness." Sam dropped the phone on the floor and pressed harder on the wound. The blood had soaked through the towel. _Not good._ "Come on Dean, wake up." Dean didn't move. His breathing ragged.

Sam's heart rate shot through the roof, "Dean. Come on man wake up. Someone's stealing your Impala!" Sam said hoping that his brother would miraculously recover, get up, run out, check the car, and come back in and yell at Sam for almost giving him a heart attack like that.

But Dean didn't even bat an eyelid. In fact it seemed his breathing became a little shallower. Sam felt for a pulse and was grateful to feel a steady beat beneath his fingers. Sam tapped Dean's face a little harder than he had done previously and swore under his breath when Dean yet again didn't respond. Dean's skin was now covered in a film of sweat.

Sam could feel Dean's blood coming through the towel and warming his hand, "God damn it Dean. Don't you dare die on me! Not now!"

The sound of sirens brought Sam out of his trance. A few seconds later four Paramedics rushed into the little bathroom, pushing Sam out of the way.

Less than two minutes later Dean was on a gurney and being rushed to one of the two waiting ambulances out the front. Sam watched it all like he was watching a movie. Words like _external hemorrhage_ and _large laceration to left wrist_ and a lot of medical mumbo jumbo that Sam didn't understand, made it through the haze.

A hand on his shoulder made Sam jump. He turned around fast, almost losing his footing before he realized it was just one of the ambos. The ambo looked to be mid fifties with graying hair and kind eyes.

"Do you want to ride with us son? I don't think you're in a position to drive right now." He asked.

Sam nodded, he didn't trust his voice if he were to answer. He let the nice ambo lead him to the ambulance Dean was in. Seeing his brother like that tore Sam's heart out. He sat next to him and grasped Dean's leg, needing the physical contact.

Closing his eyes Sam leant back and took in a deep breath. Dean was going to be fine, the ambos had him now. They would make everything okay and Dean would be climbing the hospital walls trying to get out in the next few days.

A harsh voice entered through the haze of Sam's thoughts, "We've lost his pulse!"

* * *

_Hey! So what did you think? I know, I'm mean, I left it as another cliff hanger. So please review and let me know what you think! I'm hoping to reach the big 100+ for reviews with this chapter ;) Until next time guys!_

_Mishka xXx_


	13. Chapter 13

Title, Summary, Disclaimer, Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey guys and thank you all again so much. I got 100+ reviews :) :dances: Anyway here's the next chapter.

* * *

Sam's eyelids snapped open so fast he thought his eyeballs would fall out of his head. The two ambos that were in the back of the ambulance with him and Dean rushed into action. One started administering CPR, the other was fiddling around with vials and syringes. 

"Administering 10 ml of Atropine now." The elderly ambo said putting the syringe into Dean's arm.

The younger hunter stared wide eyed. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. Dean was here, in the ambulance, which meant he was supposed to be safe and getting better. Not lying there getting pumped full of drugs to save his life.

"Dean. Dean come on man don't do this!" Sam yelled at his older brother. He felt so helpless being pushed out of the way, not being able to do anything. He couldn't lose Dean, not now. Not ever.

"Wait, wait!" the elderly ambo said loudly to the other ambo who was giving Dean CPR. The female paramedic stopped the compressions and waited for the other to speak.

The grey haired paramedic stared at the monitor and his form relaxed visually, "We've got him. We've got a pulse." He sighed.

Sam slumped back against the wall. _Oh thank god!_ He sighed loudly but kept his eyes open and on his brother. He wasn't going to close them again. He was afraid that if he closed his eyes or relaxed again he would lose Dean, and this time not get him back.

It took around ten minutes to get to the hospital. When they got there it was like a blur. Dean was rushed out of the ambulance and into the emergency. Before Sam knew what was happening, he was pacing in the waiting room.

The nurses were watching him nervously. The boy looked wound up so tight they were afraid to go near him. Sam paced backwards and forwards lost in his own thoughts. If he ever saw that Lucy bitch again he was going to kill her. He would ignore his morals for once and rid the world of a psychopath like her.

Sam was so busy pacing that he didn't even notice when a tired looking doctor came up to him. She was short and rounded and had dark circles under her eyes, showing a lack of sleep.

"Mr Jarvis?" she asked, her tone showing how tired she really was.

Sam started when he realized she was there and whirled to face her. Looking down at her he nodded, "How's my brother?"

"Mr Jarvis, when your brother was brought in he had sustained some serious blood loss. We managed to stop the bleeding in theatre. He's in ICU right now but we expect him to make a full physical recovery. He's going to be fine." She paused at the look of utter relief that flowed through the young man standing in front of her, "Although there were some other injuries besides from his wrist which I need to ask about. He had a mild concussion, four broken ribs and a lot of bruising. Do you know how he might have sustained these injuries?"

The young Winchester shook his head, "No. I just found him like that in the bathroom. Can I see him, please?" he asked giving her his best puppy dog eyes.

The doctor's eyes melted somewhat. _Dean's right. No one can resist my puppy dog eyes._ She nodded her head and walked off down the corridor. Sam followed like a lost puppy. He was getting anxious because the shorter woman didn't have as big footsteps as he did, and therefore walked slower then him.

The corridor seemed to go on forever until he reached the ICU ward where Dean was being kept. He entered Dean's room cautiously after the doctor.

Dean lay on the hospital bed, white as a ghost. He was hooked up to a few machines, one Sam recognized as a heart monitor. He had an IV going into one arm, and a line with what could only be blood, being pumped into the other. Sam bit his tongue. It tore his heart out to see his older brother like this. He looked so vulnerable. Not at all like the cocky protector Sam was used to.

"Mr Jarvis. The wound on your brother's wrist was in fact self inflicted. I'm sorry to say but when he wakes up we are required to make him see a psychologist." she paused and raised her hand to stop the young hunter from interrupting her, "We will not be able to release him unless the psyche gives him an okay that he is not a danger to himself or others."

Sam bit his lip and nodded. He had known the hospital would be forced to let the psychiatric ward know of Dean's condition. It was after all, a self inflicted wound.

The young hunter pulled a seat up close to the side of his brother's bed and waited until the doctor left before taking Dean's hand in his own. Sam drew in a deep breath at how cold Dean's skin was and pulled another blanket over his brother.

"Dean. How could you do something like this to yourself? If I had have died," Sam paused, "This would not be what I would want you to do. I would want you to live a good life. Get married, maybe have some kids." Sam couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. _Oh the horror! Mini Deans!_

Dean would make a fantastic father. That much Sam had established years ago. He had basically raised Sam! And look how good he turned out. Sam sighed. Dean didn't want the whole 'apple pie' life. He would always keep hunting.

Sam looked up when he heard his brother moan. Dean was out cold, it wasn't a moan that one makes when waking up. Rather a moan that someone makes when they're dreaming. Sam could see Dean's eyes moving beneath his eyelids.

"Hey Dean wake up. You're dreaming." Sam said squeezing Dean's hand gently. His older brother moaned again, louder this time.

A sudden thought came and smacked Sam in the face. Lucy! Sebastian had said she was waiting until Dean, until Dean killed himself. That means she must have been able to see Dean. But Sam hadn't seen her when he found Dean. Then again he hadn't really been looking for her.

What if she making Dean have nightmares again! Here, now. Dean wouldn't be able to wake up for another few hours at least because of the drugs they had him on and his lack of blood. Sam shook Dean's shoulder, "Dean wake up." The young hunter said more urgently.

A young nurse came into the room, "What's going on?" she asked sternly eyeing Sam with suspicion like it was him causing Dean's pain. The heart monitors must have alerted the staff at the nurse desk.

"I think he's having a nightmare. Can you wake him up?"

The nurse walked quickly to Dean's side then turned bright red, "I don't think it's a nightmare. I think he may be dreaming something else." She said quietly going redder in the face if it was possible.

Sam looked back at his brother in confusion then realized what she was talking about. Sam too went red and couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. Well at least his older brother was having a _good_ dream.

"Okay I think we should leave him for now. Maybe you should go and get him some clothes and things for when he wakes up." She said shooing Sam out of the room.

The young Winchester nodded mutely and left for the hotel room snickering. His brother would always be the same old Dean. Sam just hoped he would be the same when he woke up.

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_HA! I bet you weren't expecting that! Sorry, I know I killed the angsty atmosphere but I decided to give Dean a break. I have been pretty mean to him lately, and what better way to repay him than well..(and yeah I know it's not probable, with the blood loss and all but lets just pretend it is) Anyway I will get back to the angst in the next chapter. Let me know what you think ;) _

Mishka xXx


	14. Chapter 14

Title, Summary, Disclaimer, Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hello there my darlings! Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. Like I said in my replies I was very worried that I was going to be ducking rotten fruit because I killed the angst. So I'm glad you liked it ;) Anyway here's the next chapter. 14 is my lucky and favourite number you know, so I made it longer than normal. Anyway I'm off camping for the long weekend, but I will be back in a few days!

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Sam caught a taxi back to Bill's Place. An ambulance ride, was after all, only one way. He entered room 305 cautiously. He was still very wary that he didn't know where Lucy was or what she was up to.

The young hunter took in the destruction of the room. He knew that Dean sometimes had an anger problem but geez. It didn't even look like a hotel room anymore! Sam noticed his bag near the door as he had seen in his vision. One less thing he had to worry about when packing now.

Sam shuffled around the room picking up his brother's belongings and putting them back into Dean's bag. He winced when he picked up the tattered remains of Dean's Metallica t-shirt. Maybe he could fix it and have for Dean when he left the hospital.

When he had finished packing all of Dean's clothes into his bag Sam spotted the piece of broken mirror and Dean's knife on the floor. He glared at the piece of mirror which was tainted with his brother's blood. Feeling sick Sam sat against the wall.

After all the blood he had seen last night he never wanted to see any again. Especially Dean's. But then in their line of work that was going to be virtually impossible. Sam shifted uncomfortably when he felt something poking his butt. He reached beneath him and pulled out Dean's phone.

'4 Missed Calls' was written on the display screen. One was from a number Sam didn't recognize and realized it was probably from Sebastian's phone. The other three were from their father.

Sam realized that must have been who Dean was on the phone when he had called and he was engaged. Sam wondered if John had picked up the phone but then decided he probably hadn't. He hadn't so far, why would he now. He noticed with some pain that the phone was mildly covered in what could only be blood. _Dean's hands had looked pretty banged up._

Even with the doctors okay, he didn't feel comfortable leaving Dean alone to long and he defiantly wanted to be there when Dean woke up. His brother would probably lose his head again if he woke up and found Sam not there. A person can only lose someone so many times.

Sam put the phone in his pocket and put his and Dean's bags into the trunk of the Impala and then made his way back to the hospital.

* * *

Dean awoke to the faint sound of beeping. He scrunched his eyes tighter. Damn he was cold and tired, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Cold and tied. Why did this seem familiar? 

In that moment everything came back to him. The nightmares, the hunt, Sam dead, him with the piece of broken mirror, Sam alive. Dean opened his eyes and sat up straight. He ignored the brightness of the hospital lights and the vertigo and pain that he was greeted with and looked around for his little brother.

"Sam?" he croaked, his throat sore and his mouth dry. His room was empty he noted with bitterness, "Sam?" he asked again a little louder, feeling panic in the pits of his stomach. Sam had looked pretty bad when Dean had last seen him. What if he-? Dean swallowed.

There was the sound of a toilet flushing and the bathroom door opened showing a happy Sam.

"Dean you're awake! How are you feeling?" He asked with a grin, obviously happy to see that his older brother was conscious.

The older Winchester closed his eyes for a moment, sighed in relief. Sam was with him, and he was obviously alive. But how was Sam alive? Not that Dean was ungrateful or anything. He was just curious.

Dean started trying to put the pieces of his fragmented memory back together. It wasn't going to well. His head was throbbing and the drugs they were pumping into him were making him drowsy so he had no choice but to lay back down.

When he opened his eyes Sam was still standing in the doorway of the small bathroom. It occurred to Dean that his little brother was obviously afraid of how he might react if he came closer.

"Am I dead?" he asked and tried to get some saliva worked up in his dry mouth. The boy standing in the bathroom door looked like an angel with the light coming from behind him. The last thing Dean remembered was slitting his wrist, maybe he had died.

Sam's face dropped a little. How was he going to fix this? He moved slowly towards the bed as to not startle Dean and took a seat.

"No Dean. You're not dead. You're in hospital." He said gingerly.

Dean seemed to think about for this for a moment before speaking again, "How can you be here? You're dead. You died in my arms Sammy." He asked quietly.

_Screw that Lucy bitch to hell! If I ever find her I'll,_ "No Dean. I'm alive, I'm here. It was a nightmare bro. It's a pretty screwed up story but all you need to know for now is that everything's okay." Sam said hoping that would stop his brother from asking questions yet.

Dean closed his eyes. What the hell was going on? When he opened them again Sam was staring at him intently. Needing the physical contact Dean reached out his hand and took Sam's. He didn't really understand what was going on but at least he had his brother back. He sighed, the drugs they had him hooked up to were making it impossible to think straight. Not to mention drowsy damn it.

Sam was a little taken aback by the gesture but squeezed Dean's hand gently. The doctors had wrapped Dean's hands in bandages after they saw the damage he had done to them. Dean was in a private room now. They had moved him out of the ICU ward when Sam had gotten back seeing as his condition seemed to be improving.

The two Winchester brothers sat there like that for awhile before exhaustion won out against Dean and he fell back to sleep.

* * *

Sam Winchester woke with a start at the ringing sound coming from his pocket. He didn't even remember falling asleep. Sam pulled out Dean's phone from his pocket and looked at the caller display through blurry eyes. 'Dad'. Sam moved into the small bathroom so as not to disturb Dean and answered the phone. 

"Hey Dad." He said, an edge of tiredness to his voice.

"Sam! What happened? I got a message from Dean. Are you boys okay?" came John Winchesters surprised yet concerned voice. He hadn't been expecting anyone to pick up the phone, least of all his youngest son. But he was happy beyond words to hear Sam's voice.

Sam sighed, "Yeah Dad we're okay. How are you? Where are you?" he replied avoiding John's question.

"I'm fine Sammy. What happened?" he asked again more sternly.

"Umm," Sam started, unsure how to tell his father what had happened, "Long story short, a werewolf case we were working on turned ugly. Dean was having these nightmares because of this girl, Lucy, who has issues with Dean. Her and her brother Sebastian took me and convinced Dean that I was dead. He um," Sam paused again, "He tired to kill himself Dad. But his fine now. We're at the All Saints hospital in Cobram."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone and then, "What about the brother and sister. Where are they?" John said, his voice icy. No one messes with his sons and lives to tell the tale.

"Sebastian, he's no longer a problem." He paused and looked at his wrists and hands. One of the nurses had noticed how battered they looked and insisted she rap them. The cuts from trying to get out of the rope had been pretty nasty and you can't exactly, beat someone to death and not have any marks to show for it, "Lucy on the other hand, I don't know where she is. She wasn't there when I got to Dean."

"Okay. Don't worry about her. I'll take care of it. You just take care of yourself and Dean." John said. He knew both boys must be pretty messed up at the moment. Especially Dean. He cringed thinking about the pieces Sam was going to have to pick up. He wished he could be there to help but he was closing in on the Demon, "Is Dean awake?" John asked.

"He woke up about an hour ago, but not for long. He's pretty out of it."

"Well just keep an eye on him Sam. I'll call you when I get this Lucy sorted out."

"Okay. Bye Dad."

"Bye Sam."

Sam hang up and re-pocketed the phone. He looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face was pale. Not as pale as Deans was though. Sam splashed some water on his face. He felt a little relieved that he had spoken to his Dad. That and knowing that John was going to 'take care' of Lucy. He could now put all his energy into taking care of Dean.

When Sam came out of the bathroom, the nurse that had come into the room when Dean had been having his little 'dream', was busy checking his stats.

She looked up when Sam came out and smiled. Her face was a light shade of pink and Sam grinned, "Hi Mr Jarvis. How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked quietly.

Sam shook his head and sat down next to Dean again. God his brother looked pale. Pale and beat to hell. Sam took Dean's hand in his own again and looked at the bandage wrapped around his wrist. If he had been any later..He didn't want to think about it.

Dean's eyelids fluttered and he squeezed Sam's hand lightly. The annoying beep was still there but he wasn't feeling as drugged up as he had been before. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. It looked the same as it had last time he was awake but now Sam was sitting with him. Dean moaned softly as he tried to sit up, a pain in his ribs stopping him from fully accomplishing this meager task.

The younger Winchester's face lit up, "Hey Dean. How you feeling?"

"How you feeling?" Dean directed the question back at his little brother with a gesture to his hands and face.

Sam smiled, "I'm fine Dean. How are _you_ feeling?" he repeated.

Dean let his eyelids drop. He never enjoyed lying to his family. Sammy especially. He knew Sam wanted to hear him say he was fine. Then Sam could become the mother hen he usually became when Dean was hurt or sick. Dean would get better and they would go on.

But this time was different. Dean wasn't feeling good. He felt tired, sore and confused. He didn't want to tell Sam that though. It would only make him worry, and if Sam was worrying then Dean would worry too. If there was one thing Dean Winchester didn't want to do right now, it was cause his little brother to worry.

The nurse finished checking Dean's stats and made to leave, her eyes on the ground and face red. Dean used it as a scapegoat to not answer Sam's question and addressed the nurse instead.

"Hey do you think you could get me some water please honey?" he rasped at her, giving him her one of his charming smiles. She turned redder and nodded. Trying to keep her eyes off him, she handed him a glass of water and left the room hurriedly.

"What was that all about?" Dean asked Sam addressing how the nurse had acted around him. He knew he had charm and looks but at the moment only the charm was there. And it was a forced charm. So why was she acting so embarrassed like a giddy school girl with a crush around him?

"I think she has a crush on you Dean." Sam said with a small smirk. He wasn't going to tell his brother about his little 'dream' just yet. Maybe he would use it to tease Dean when he was better.

"I told you Sammy. Even when I look like crap chicks still dig me." Dean said with some forced humor. The nurse was cute but he just wasn't feeling anything like that at the moment. He couldn't really explain how he felt. It was like someone had torn him to shreds and then sown him back up. He felt empty but full at the same time. _Losing your little brother non-stop can do that to you._

"She probably just feels sorry for you Dean. Being stuck with a better looking little brother like me and all." Sam joked.

Dean actually smiled at that, "You wish jelly fish." He said taking a sip from the water.

Sam's eyes lit up. Dean had picked the expression up when they were at school and every time he said it, without fail it would always make Sam smile. He didn't know why but he had just always found it amusing. Especially coming from his older brother who normally had a foul mouth.

"Jerk."

"Bitch." came the standard reply from Dean.

The boys sat there quiet for awhile, lost in their own thoughts before Dean broke the silence, "I'm sorry about what I did Sammy." He paused and then regained his momentum, "If I had have known that you weren't hurt then I _never_ would have done something like that. I should have realized what was going on but, but I didn't."

Sam looked up at Dean. He realized instantly what Dean was doing. He was shouldering the blame. The young hunter wondered how his brother was even able to live with the amount of blame he had heaped upon himself for years. Sam shook his head, he had to make sure Dean knew this wasn't his fault.

"Dean it wasn't your fault. You were pretty messed up." Sam waited until his brother gave some acknowledgment as to what he had just said before continuing, "But I'm telling you now. Don't you _ever_ do that again. I mean it Dean. Listen, you know our work is dangerous and I would want to think that if something happened to one of us that the other would live on." he said tears behind his eyes threatening to make an appearance.

Dean looked at his hands like a child that had just been told off, "What the hell happened Sammy?" he sighed.

The young Winchester didn't feel like getting into this with his older brother in such a weakened condition but he knew he had no choice. Besides if he didn't tell Dean his older brother would lost patience and probably sock him one.

"When you were with Cassie, do you ever remember a guy named Sebastian? Or maybe his sister Lucy?" Sam stopped at the blank look on his big brother's face, "He was probably really geeky looking and she, well she looked like a supermodel." He said trying to get Dean to remember.

Dean furrowed his brow. Those people he had helped on the side of the road seemed to fit that description. That chick had been pretty hot. He smiled at the memory or wanting to get it on with her. But if these were the people Sam were referring to then there was no way in hell that was going to be happening. Girls who were buckets of crazy were more Sam's thing.

"This chick by any chance have long brown hair and is around my height?" he asked.

Sam's eyes widened and he nodded his head, "Figured you would remember the girl Dean." a slight smirk spread across his young face.

"No actually I don't remember her from there. When I was there with Cassie all I saw was Cassie, no one else. I remember this girl from the other day. She was with this geeky guy, their car had broken down on the side of the highway so I pulled over and helped them out." He stated simply.

Sam's jaw dropped, "Where the hell was I?"

"Asleep in the car." Was the matter of fact reply, "So what's with this Sebastian and Lucy then?"

The young hunter proceeded to tell Dean everything he knew, except the call he had had with their Dad and the gory details about what he had done to Sebastian.

It made everything in the older hunter's mind easier to understand. The pieces of the puzzle all clicked together now. It was sick and twisted and completely stupid but he'd said it once and he'd say it again._ Demons I get, people are crazy_.

Dean sat silent for awhile. So all of this had kind of been his fault. But then it wasn't his fault he had fallen in love with Cassie. You can't stop emotions like that. On the other hand he understood where Sebastian had been coming from, and even Lucy. He had the protective older sibling gene down pat and he knew that if anyone ever messed with Sam he would kill them.

He realized suddenly that his father mustn't know that they were all alright, "Sammy you got my phone? I gotta call Dad. I kinda left him a message on his voice mail when I was, well you know. I gotta straighten it out with him."

"It's okay Dean. I called him and left him a message explaining what happened."

Fiddling with the bandage around his wrist Dean kept his eyes off his little brother. Great, now his father probably thought he had failed yet again. A small voice in Dean's subconscious however told him different. The 26 year old smiled at how the voice somewhat resembled that of his little brother.

"Thanks." Dean said making eye contact with Sam.

"For what?"

"For everything. For saving my ass and for not getting yourself killed in the process." Dean said with a smirk.

Sam laughed a little under his breath. Trust Dean to somehow make an apology into a dig at him, "No problem." He said and lightly punched Dean on the shoulder.

* * *

_Well there it is. Not the last chapter but I'm getting there. Only one of two more left I think. Maybe one of those Epilogue thingy's. Anyway I'm hoping to get to 130+ reviews for this. It would be nice to come back from camping to some reviews ;) Until next time..Thanks for reading._

_Mishka xXx_


	15. Chapter 15

Title, Summary, Disclaimer, Warning: Check first Chapter

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update but as you can see it is a long chapter. This is the final chapter and I hope it isn't too bad. I have never been good at finishing stories but I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Dean Winchester awoke out of a deep nightmare filled sleep with a start. He had had the dream about his mother again. One he had thought he wouldn't have to deal with again as he had repressed it so deeply he had almost forgot it. Almost. He had been having that dream every time he fell asleep. Which wasn't saying much because he had been trying like hell not to fall asleep ever since they had let him out of the hospital a few days ago.

Cursing under his breath he raised himself into a sitting position. _God do you hate my ribs or something?_ He looked around the small hotel room him and Sam were currently staying in and sighed. To his right Sam was asleep peacefully on the other bed. This pleased Dean and he smiled.

Sam had been annoyingly watching Dean when he thought he wasn't looking since he woke in the hospital. It was like Nebraska all over again. _Sammy don't worry about me. I'm not dying this time._ Dean unconsciously ran his fingers over the bandage around his wrist, tracing the movement he had made with the piece of broken mirror. The cut had taken to itching when he awoke from his nightmares.

A quick look at the clock on the bedside table informed Dean that it was 4.16am. He ran his hands threw his hair wishing that he hadn't fallen asleep. It was bad enough that every time he closed his eyes he saw the image of Sam dead in his arms, but then when he actually did manage some sleep all he could see was his Mom pulling him onto the roof, burning him.

Moving quietly as to not awake his little brother, Dean got out of bed, grabbed his bad and headed into the tiny bathroom. He looked through his bag and pulled out a half empty bottle of Caffeine pills. He swallowed a small handful (a lot more than the recommended dosage) and put the bottle back safely at the bottom of his bag. He didn't want Sam finding them. Dean was pretty sure Sam didn't know that he was drugging himself to stay awake, and he didn't want him to.

In all truth Dean was just too afraid to go to sleep. Not that he would ever admit it in a hundred years. He was worried that if he fell asleep, somehow all the nightmares about Sam would start again and he might find himself in the similar circumstances he had been in before. He knew however that Lucy wouldn't be behind it. John had called while he was still in the hospital with news that the problem had been fixed, and that 'the bitch' wouldn't be bothering anyone ever again.

Dean sat himself down on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. He would wait fifteen minutes for the pills to kick in then he would get to work. They were currently in Hicksville, on their way to another job and Dean had taken to researching while Sam was asleep. It kept him awake and it saved his brother from having to do it. Win win situation. At least that's how he figured it. Sam on the other hand had noticed that his older brother hadn't been sleeping too much. He had no idea to the actual extent though.

The younger Winchester figured his brother was at least getting three to four hours a night. In actual fact, Dean was lucky if he got two. He pretended to sleep while Sam was awake to keep his little brother's worries at bay.

Dean felt the buzz start as he fidgeted with his hands and tapped his feet as fast as he could on the cold bathroom tiles. It was a strange feeling being so hopped up on caffeine pills. He knew he was tired and should be dead on his feet but it was like he were a puppet and the strings he was attached to kept him upright and alert. He could feel the tiredness under the alertness and it made his stomach churn if he thought about it to much.

The sudden need to do something, to be active came up and slapped him in the face. Dean sprung to his feet. He couldn't exactly do much because it would wake Sam, and lord only knows the boy needed the sleep. His constant checking on Dean when he thought his older brother wasn't looking must have been tiring.

The young hunter paced around the small bathroom like a caged lion. Only slightly aware of the soreness of his ribs and ankle. The cut on his wrist was itching like a bitch now and he was tempted to itch it but knew the cut would open and bleed again. The last thing he needed was Sam thinking he was suicidal. Although the thought did cross his mind every now and then. Especially when he woke from one of his nightmares, covered in sweat and shaking, his stomach in tight knots. He couldn't however do anything more than pass up the idea the instant it sprung into his mind. Sam was there with him, he was alive and because of that Dean Winchester had a reason to go on living. The main reason he had always gone on living. To be there for his little brother. To do his up most to protect him from anything and everything. To just be what he had always been, a big brother.

Dean entertained the thought of going out to try and buy some breakfast but he knew there was no point because a) there probably wasn't any place around that was open, b) Sammy wasn't awake and there was no point of eating without him and c) the thought of food mixed with his buzz from the pills make him want to gouge his eyes out.

A small smile spread across his face. He could always go out and detail the Impala, but he had done that yesterday. He didn't want to over do anything with his precious baby. He was extremely grateful that when he had gone a 'little crazy' that night and destroyed pretty much everything, that he hadn't gone outside and hurt his baby. Because if he had he would have been kicking himself up the ass now.

Knowing that Sammy wouldn't be awake for at least another hour Dean decided to go for a drive. Stretch his wheels so to speak. What he needed was a long stretch of straight road to just fly down at warped speed. It always made him feel better and was the closest thing he felt to not having to care about anything, was when he was driving his baby at extreme speeds.

Dean sifted through his bag and pulled out his Metallica t-shirt. It now looked like a train track with the stitching that had been required to fix it. Ginger, the hot little nurse who had a crush on him at the hospital had fixed it for him. When he had got it back it had had her phone number attached to it. To say the least he had called her and they had well, had a good time. He had especially enjoyed it since it seemed to be a return to normalcy, and Sam had left Dean alone for a little while as well which was a bonus.

He pulled on the t-shirt as quickly as his ribs would allow and slipped out of the small bathroom. Sam was right where he had left him, except now he was snoring softly. Dean smiled and pulled the sheets that had fallen off his little brother back over him before grabbing his keys off the bedside table, and quietly exiting the hotel room.

Dean was met with the cool and crisp morning air once he was outside. He breathed in as deeply as he could and made for the car. His baby was glimmering in the car park and put every other car there to shame. He unlocked the door and slid into the driver's seat. He turned it on and listened with pride at the throaty growl his precious made. Dean threw the car into reverse and took off.

Once he found a perfect stretch of highway to put his baby to the limit he pushed the pedal to the floor. The Impala replied perfectly throwing herself forward. Dean smiled and sighed with relief. God it felt good to be driving out in the open road. Right now behind the wheel there was nothing else. It was just him and his baby, the road in front and the noise of the wind flying past the windows, being distorted however by the loud music he was now cranking which was fueling to his speed. In Dean Winchester's mind, fast music means driver fast.

The buzz from the pills made him push the car to her limit before the straightness of the road ended in a soft turn. He pushed on the breaks to slow down enough to make the corner and then continued on, all sense of time lost.

The older Winchester noticed the sky around him starting to get lighter and decided he had better get back to the hotel room. If he wasn't there when Sam woke up, chances are his little brother would have a heart attack from worry. He regretfully did a u-turn and drove back.

* * *

The freedom and adrenaline he had felt on the open road ended when he snuck back into the stuffy hotel room. _God how can anyone breathe in here?_ He looked over at Sam who was still sleeping. 

Dean dropped his keys back onto the bedside table, grabbed his bag and went back into the bathroom. A nice hot shower would hopefully calm him down enough so that he could sit in one place for more than a second without having to get up and move around.

Turning on the hot water Dean began pacing around the bathroom again. How many pills had he swallowed this time? He was going to be jittery for the next few hours at least. Sleep called to him but he pushed it away. _Sleep when you die._

Dean stood in front of the small mirror waiting for the water to turn hot. A pale version of him looked back at him. Was that really what he looked like? He knew he had been more pale since he had almost bled to death but jeez. There were dark circles under his eyes as a testimony to the last few nights he had spent with barely four hours sleep in total. _Stupid nightmares, why cant you just leave me alone?_

The memory of his smashing the mirror and using one of its jagged pieces to end it all came floating across his mind. He looked down at his hands and the small cuts and bruises that covered them. They would scare, just like the cut on his wrist would scare. They would scare and leave him a constant reminder of what could always happen the next time they were out on a job. A constant reminder of what could happen to his Sammy, even if he was there. A constant reminder of how he had failed.

Sure what he had originally believed to happen hadn't happened, but in all truthfulness the events of that night could have played out exactly like that. He would never again look at his brother the same way. He had had the experience of what it would be like if he lost Sam and he hadn't liked it one bit.

Dean came back into himself as the air around him became hard to breath due to the steam now pouring out of the small shower. How long had he been standing here stuck in his own thoughts?

Shaking out his tense muscles Dean let out a sigh. He took off his clothes and stepped into the shower, turning on the cold water as he did so. He hissed as the almost boiling water stung his skin and bit at his bruises. Reaching out he put his hand against the wall to steady himself at the sudden wave of vertigo. He wouldn't tell Sam but he hadn't been feeling as well as he said he was. Still what was new about that?

There were times that if it weren't from the help of his little round friends he would have passed out from exhaustion. He was physically, and even worse, mentally exhausted. He just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep forever. Then maybe when he woke up his Dad would be there and Sammy would be there and they could all be a happy family again. _Dream on Dean._ But Dean couldn't go to sleep, because every time he did he was met with the nightmare of his mother. Why the hell had it started up again after all these years? Was it trying to warn him or tell him something? Or was it just the world being cruel as he so often found it was. _Probably the latter._

He had been doing a lot of thinking these last few days. Most of it revolved around Sam like usual. It killed him to even think it let alone say it but Dean was starting to think that maybe it would be better if Sam went back to Stanford. He had been happy there. Happy and safe. He had had a life of his own, friends, a beautiful girlfriend and everything he had ever wanted. Normal. Maybe it would just be better if he dropped him there on the way to the next job. At least then Sam would be out of harms way. Well as far as being out of harms way goes for a Winchester. He was going to have to ask Sam what he wants.

Dean stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out before he got out. He had a quick shave and swallowed a few of the heavy pain killers the doctor had given when he had gotten out of hospital because of his sudden headache. Dean then got dressed back into the clothes he had been wearing yesterday and walked back into the small room to find Sam awake, propped up in bed and looking through their Dad's journal.

"Hey." Dean nodded in greeting to Sam.

"Morning." came the reply, "How long you been up?"

"Half an hour." The older Winchester lied.

Sam gave him a look that said '_you're-lying-and-you-know-I-know-you're-lying-so-don't_'. Dean just returned his best look of innocence and his version of Sam's puppy eyes.

"Dean how much sleep did you get last night. And don't lie, please."

In true Dean Winchester fashion he couldn't deny his little brother anything, "Okay I got a few hours." He said. _A few hours, yeah right maybe in _your_ dreams._ So maybe he had lied again but it was better to lie to Sammy than have him worry over his stupid sleeping habits. Dean moved over and flopped onto the bed then grimaced as it didn't help his headache or his ribs.

Cursing under his breath Dean hoped he wouldn't go back to sleep because of the pain killers he had just downed. It had seemed like a good idea at the time but now he was starting to feel their affects and it was making him drowsy. _Stupid pain killers, stupid caffeine pills, stupid nightmares, stupid everything!_

Sam nodded his head slightly and turned back to John's journal. He knew something was up with his brother but he just didn't know how to approach the subject without triggering Dean's self defenses. He looked back up at his older brother. He looked like crap. He was pale as hell which only made the dark rings under his eyes stand out more. _Stupid Dean why can't you just tell me what's going on in that thick skull of yours!_

"So did you have a nice drive?" Sam asked casually.

Dean looked up in surprise but quickly covered the look, "Umm, yeah good." He paused and then, "I just needed some fresh air you know." He added as an after thought.

"Dean are you okay man? You look kinda green." Sam asked after a moment and got off his bed to come over to Dean. He crouched in front of his older brother and looked up at Dean's drooped head. One of his brother's eyes was half open, the other fully closed, "Dean?" Sam asked giving Dean a little shake.

The older hunter looked up after a sharp intake of breath like he was waking up, even though he had been awake already. Well kinda, he was sort of floating in between here and there. Dean made to stand, he could feel the contents of his stomach trying to make a guest appearance, but dizziness quickly made him fall back.

Sam laid a steadying hand on Dean's elbow and made sure he stayed seated on the bed. Noticing Dean's hiccupping motions Sam leapt to action, grabbed the hotel room's trashcan and pushed it under Dean's chin just in time to catch the small contents of his brother's stomach.

"That's the last time I don't count how many pills I take." Dean mumbled under his breath and then wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

The younger Winchester looked at Dean in surprise and contemplation, "What pills Dean?"

"Oh a little from column A, and a little from column B." he sighed. _Oh shit did I just say that out load? Sammy's going to have my blood when he finds out what I've been doing. Stupid Dean!_ Feeling that his stomach wasn't finished yet he pulled the trashcan towards him and retched again.

Sam waited patiently until his brother was finished and then looked him straight in the eyes, "What pills Dean?" he repeated, his voice taking on the tone of an order.

"Shit Sammy does it matter?" he sighed hoping against all hope that his little brother would drop it. Even though he knew now the floodgates were open, that wasn't going to happen.

Sam got to his feet and went into the small bathroom. He picked up the bottle of prescription pills that Dean had left on the side of the sink and looked inside. There was roughly how many there should be there if Dean had been taking them as recommended. But Sam knew his brother. Dean had a high tolerance to most pain killers and taking a few of them wouldn't have knocked his brother on his ass like that. Which left the question of what else had his brother ingested?

"Have you taken anything other than these Dean?" he asked waving the small bottle of pills in front of his brother's face.

Dean looked up. Sammy was going to find out if he helped him or not, and it would end better if he helped him because the youngest Winchester had a temper that the longer you leave it the more hot it will get. Dean pointed at his bag which still lay on the bathroom floor.

Getting the gist Sam returned back into the bathroom and started to look though Dean's bag. When he reached the bottom his hands clasped around a small plastic bottle and he produced the caffeine pills. Taking a quick look inside told Sam that it was more than half empty. It took a few strides of his long legs and he was crouching back in front of Dean again, the small bottle clasped tightly in his hand.

"Dean how many of these did you take?"

Dean just shrugged. It's not like he counted them when he downed them. He had done that only on the first time. After that he had no clue.

Sam sighed, he was getting angrier and at the same time more concerned about Dean's current state. The stupid git had only been out of hospital a few days and he was already threatening himself with going back in, "Dean did you take enough of these that I should get you to a hospital?" he asked.

"No, just a few. I'll be right in a second Sammy. They're just not sitting well with the pain killers I downed. Stupid headache." Dean rubbed his hands in circular motions over his temples as if to illustrate his point.

"How long have you been taking these pills?"

"Oh a few here and a few there. Listen Sammy I'm really tired. I think I might just go to sleep now if that's okay with you." Dean got out and then made to lie back, but Sam's long arms stopped him before he could make it all the way down. He didn't really want to sleep but at the moment his head was killing him and maybe if went to sleep he could wake up and Sam would have forgotten this whole little thing. _Next time count how maybe you swallow you moron!_ _And keep your damn mouth shut about it!_

"No I don't think sleeping is a good idea right now. Why don't we go into the bathroom and you can have another shower huh? It'll keep you awake."

"Mmm, awakeness is a good thing." Dean nodded, he made to get to his feet again and actually managed it this time, with help from brother dearest. The room spun for a few seconds but eventually righted itself.

The two brothers made it slowly to the bathroom. Sam sat Dean on the floor and turned on the hot water. He tapped his foot impatiently waiting for the water to get hot.

"Little problem there Sammy. I used up all the hot water." he paused to smirk slightly then, "Get me a glass of water would you bro? I'll be right. It's just a little headache."

Sam did as he was asked and watched his brother intently. _Isn't even out of the hospital for a week and then this!_ "When did you buy those pills?"

"The afternoon I checked out of the hospital. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Still does."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't really feel like sleeping." was the blunt and truthful reply.

"Why didn't you feel like sleeping Dean?"

_Bloody Sammy and his 20 questions. He couldn't just turn that part of his brain off for awhile could he?_, "Because Sammy. I kind of slept enough in the hospital. Didn't see the point in doing it for awhile okay." He said patiently like he was talking to a five year old.

Sam looked at Dean with a quizzical look which then turned to understanding, "You've been having nightmares?" it was a statement and a question at the same time. That would make sense. When Sam had been having the nightmares about Jess he hadn't wanted to fall asleep either. It was a dangerous thing having insomnia or just not sleeping with the job that they did. Make one mistake and you could be gone.

Dean looked up but kept his face unreadable. He was feeling better thanks to the water and most likely the throwing up as well. _Must have been a temporary thing_. Looking away from Sam, the older hunter leaned forward and made to get up but a steady hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so.

"What the hell Sam? Let me up."

"Dean we have to talk about this, you can't just drug yourself to stay awake bro. It's too dangerous." Sam said with a tone that Dean knew meant that his little brother wasn't going to let up on this. But to hell if he was in the mood for a chick flick moment.

The older Winchester shrugged off the younger hand. Strangely he was feeling pretty hungry now and the thought of a huge plate of eggs and bacon was making his mouth water.

"Dean?" Sam asked quietly, urging his older brother to tell him what was bugging him.

"Sam I'm fine. Let me up, I want some breakfast." Dean stated making to stand again. But yet again Sam stopped him.

"Dean you're not fine. Drugging yourself to stay awake is not fine!" said Sam in an exasperated tone.

"Oh stop being such a drama queen Sammy. You hungry? I could really use some food right about now."

Sam's jaw dropped. How the hell could his brother think about food at a time like this? Then again Dean was always thinking about food, or girls, or the Impala. But still that was a lame attempt to change the subject and Sam was not going to let it slide, "Dean we can get some breakfast later. You wanna tell me what the nightmares were about?" Sam pressed gently. If he pressed to hard Dean was bound to bring up the walls higher and thicker and lock the door.

"Hmm let me think, no." Dean said with a straight face.

"I can't help you if I don't know what I'm up against. This is exactly what happened with that bitch. If we had have told each other what was happening maybe it wouldn't have turned out like it did. Please Dean." Sam tried giving Dean his puppy eyes.

Dean bit his bottom lip then looked Sam right in the eyes, "Fine. But can we take this out of the bathroom. My butts gone numb."

Sam stopped the urge to laugh and pulled his older brother gently to his feet. They moved it out into the bedroom and sat on their beds facing each other.

The older Winchester really wasn't up for this conversation. He knew it was only going to make Sam worry. But then the younger hunter was going to worry if he didn't tell him and he did have a point. This was how it had all started, by not telling each other what was going on. He would have never had to have done this with his Dad. John would have told him to suck it up and get his head back on the job. But he defiantly wasn't dealing with his father.

Sam waited patiently for Dean to begin but after a few minutes he lost his patients, "Dean?"

"Yeah yeah. I've been having these nightmares since I woke up in the hospital, no biggie." He said offhandedly.

"No biggie? Dean this is a biggie." He paused and then, "What were the nightmares about?"

Dean bit his tongue. He had never told anyone what he was about to tell his little brother but part of him wanted to get it off his chest. His mother had told him when he was little, that if he told her what he had had a nightmare about it would make it go away. Dean had actually believed her and most times it had worked, until he lost his mother.

"I've been having this dream I used to have about Mom."

Sam swallowed, he knew now exactly what Dean had been dealing with every time he fell asleep. He hadn't told Dean that Lucy had shown him his dream, he thought he could spare his brother from the embarrassment and hurt with knowing that his little brother had seen something that he obviously hadn't wanted anyone to see. He was wrong.

"Oh. Umm Dean," the young hunter paused looking into his brother's eyes before continuing, "Lucy she, when you were unconscious she kind of made me watch one of your dreams. Said it would help me understand what you were going through, and she um, she showed me the dream you had of Mom on the ceiling. I'm sorry, I really didn't want to see it but, but she made me." He finished, his voice very small.

Dean sat there in quiet horror. _That bitch! How fucking dare she show anyone that! Especially Sam. Fuck, fuck her god damn it!_ He breathed out slowly to try and calm the anger that was building inside him, "You saw my dream about Mom?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry." Sam knew it wasn't his fault and that in all actual fact he shouldn't be apologizing, but that didn't stop him. He felt like he had wronged his brother and he knew by the look that Dean was trying to keep off his face, he had.

"Oh. Okay then. It's a screamer aint it?" he tried to joke to cover his anger, but the humor wasn't present.

"Yeah it is. Why do you think it's come back?" Sam asked trying to get off the subject of his seeing Dean's dream.

"I don't know. Maybe because I remembered it." he said with a bitter tone, "You were never supposed to know about it Sammy."

"I know. But think of it this way, at least now you don't have to deal with it alone. And Dean," he waved the caffeine pills in front of his brother, "these are not the answer."

"Says who? The back says they 'keep you awake and alert for six hours' sounds like an answer to me."

"Yeah and the back also says 'not to be used as a substitute for sleep' Dean. I don't want you taking these anymore."

"Well hate to break it to ya Sammy but it's not up too you. I have a problem, I found something that helps make it better so I'm sticking with it." Dean said matter-of-factly trying to grab the little bottle of pills from his brother. But Sam pulled them away.

"Dean there are other ways to get around this. We'll work it out."

"Yeah because you obviously know the answer don't you." Dean spat out before he could stop himself.

Sam was hurt by the harsh comment but he didn't let it show. He knew that it was just the anger about him having seen his brother's personal dream that had caused the nasty words. Still what hurt Sam more was that his brother was right, he didn't have the answers on how to stop the nightmares or yes he obviously would have done something about it.

Annoyed at Sam's silence Dean threw his hands up and got off the bed, "I'm going for a drive. You want anything?" effectively ending the convocation.

The younger hunter stood up and also grabbed his jacket, "I'm coming with you." His tone held no space for arguments. He had made up his mind, and when Sam Winchester made up his mind it was made up for good.

Dean just shrugged and walked out to the Impala. He was considering getting into it and driving off without Sam, maybe he could hit that stretch of road again. The thought however was a fleeting one as Sam was by his side and reaching for the keys in an instant.

"Dude I'm fine!" Dean said, annoyance lacing his words, as he kept the keys out of reach from his pesky little brother.

"Okay okay. Just try and stick to the speed limits this time. The last thing we need is another speeding fine." Sam said with an innocent smirk.

"Bah! I'd like to see them try and catch me." Dean chuckled as he slid into the driver's seat and started the ignition.

* * *

"Yeah I'll have the breakfast special and he'll have the same. Thanks." Sam said giving the menus back to the waitress. She nodded and walked away giving Sam a second glance. 

"Dude what's up with that?"

"What?"

"She was checking you out and not me."

"That's because I'm the better looking brother."

Dean snorted, "Yeah you wish lil bro."

Sam and Dean sat quiet for a little while, lost in their own thoughts until the food came. Dean looked down at his plate. It was full of greasy eggs and bacon, sausage and toast. It was his kind of breakfast. Picking up his knife and fork he dived into the greasy food.

The younger Winchester looked over at the older as he was buttering his toast, "Jeez Dean would you like some more toast with your butter?" he laughed.

"Nah I'm good." Dean replied with a smirk.

The general atmosphere as they ate their breakfast was one between happy and open and nervous about the convocation that had happened back in the hotel room. Sam was thinking how best to reenter the subject of Dean's drugging himself to stay awake while Dean was thinking of the best way to broach the subject of if Sam wanted to go back to Stanford.

Dean belched loudly as he finished his food and smiled at the disgusted look in his little brother's face.

"It's called manners dude."

"It's called shut up I'm older which means I don't have to use my manners." Dean retorted childishly.

They sat in silence for a little while before Dean decided to just spit out what had been on his mind lately, "Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to drop you off at Stanford? It's on the way to where I'm heading next." he said quietly.

Sam sat in shock. This was completely unexpected. Where the hell had Dean pulled this idea from? Sure he had decided that after they killed the Demon, he was going to go back to Stanford. Finish his course, go to law school and become a lawyer. It was what he had always wanted. But he knew that Dean didn't like to be alone and that it was going to hurt him when he eventually had to let Sam go. So why was he acting like this all of a sudden? Maybe it was a delayed effect of the pills he had swallowed earlier that morning, or maybe the lack of sleep. But still he had said _I'm_ not _we're_ like he had already made the decision.

"Wha- Why?"

_Please don't make me explain it to you Sammy. Use that college brain of yours geek boy! Don't make me tell you how weak I am that I'm afraid I'm going to get you killed. That I'm going to lose you!_ Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds and wished that he could wake up and everything would be okay. He knew that was just dreaming though. When he opened his eyes again Sam was still looking at him with a quizzical expression on his face and Dean could swear that Sam was five again asking why the thunder was so loud.

"I don't know. I thought it would maybe be good for you. Have a break from hunting, you could use a good break." He said nonchalantly and started to play with his napkin.

"Dean where is this coming from?" were the only words that found their way out of the youngest Winchester's mouth.

Dean just shrugged. He wished Sam would just say yes and he could be on his merry way knowing his brother was as safe as he could be.

"No. No I want to stay with you. I want to find Dad and I want us to all kill the Demon."

The older hunter stopped his fiddling and looked up at his little brother. How could he make him see that he wasn't safe with him, "Sam. I think it would be better if you went back to Stanford. I'll call you when I find Dad and you two can kill the Demon. Until then I think you should just try and live your life bro."

"Live my life? Dean you are my life! Why the hell do you think I'm with you? Here now. What's this really about? Is this about what Lucy did and the nightmares?" he asked trying to find where this was coming from.

"No. Just," he paused trying to figure out how to word it, "I think it would be safer for you there. I can't always protect you Sammy. As much as it kills me I won't always be able to stop you from getting hurt. Lucy and the nightmares, that's just proof of that."

Sam felt like he had been sucker punched. The pieces suddenly all clicked together. _Dean thinks his a danger to me. How the hell could that jerk think that!_ Just as Sam was about to open his mouth and yell at his brother for being a stupid jerk they were interrupted by the waitress.

"Can I get you fellas anything else? I hope the food was okay." She asked taking they empty plates. Well mostly empty. Sam hadn't been able to bring himself to eat the sausages as the mystery of what was in them hadn't really helped his appetite.

"Food was great. Thanks." Sam said trying not to be pushy but she had interrupted them at a really bad moment and he just wanted to get rid of her.

She nodded, hovered for a few seconds and then left giving Sam another second glance.

"Maybe we should stay here for awhile, that chick is defiantly into you. You could get some action, and by the looks of her it'd last you for the next few months, then you can find another Stanford chick." Dean said and winked at Sam.

Sam still couldn't believe Dean was pushing this idea on him. He knew for a fact that it wasn't what his brother wanted, that blasted shape shifter had told Sam things about his brother that he was never supposed to know, "Dean I said no. I'm staying with you."

"No, you're not. You're going back to Stanford and you're going to get your law degree and live your apple pie life." It was an order, one that Dean never wanted to give.

"Am not."

"Am too."

"Am not."

"Yes you are Sam."

The younger hunter stopped. _Damn, no Sammy. He must be serious. Well like hell I'm going down without a fight_, "Okay Dean, I'll consider it if you tell me why. And don't sugar coat it or anything, I want the truth."

"I told the truth Sam. I can't always protect you. It would be safer for you at Stanford."

"Dean I never asked you to protect me all the time. And don't you think that I would be safer with you rather at Stanford?"

"No I don't. Sammy please, you're not safe around me." Dean said looking at his hands as he couldn't bare to meet his brother's gaze.

"You're afraid I'm going to get hurt because of you aren't you? Fuck that Lucy bitch to hell! What did she do to you man?"

"She showed me how easy I could lose you Sam!" Dean said raising his voice and his gaze to his brother. Tears burned behind his eyes but he wouldn't let them drop, not here and not now. Not in front of Sammy. He had to convince Sam this was what he really wanted or he would have no chance.

Not for the first time Sam cursed Sebastian and Lucy. He looked deep into Dean's gaze only to be met with the truth, his brother wasn't lying, he actually believed what he was saying. Sam felt tears wanting to make a guest appearance, how the hell did he let this happen? He should have done something when he noticed Dean not sleeping. He should have fought harder in that room, he should have got to his brother sooner and maybe they would both be fine.

Sam opened his mouth and sighed, "Dean I wish I could take everything that happened to you away," he paused as he watched Dean rub his bandaged wrist. The older hunter didn't even know he was doing it which unnerved Sam, "but I cant. What I can do is promise you that I'm never going to leave you again. Not anytime soon anyway." He said with a small smile.

Dean felt his heart swell. His relief was palpable, Sam wasn't leaving, he was going to stay with Sam. How long had he wanted to hear those words? They almost made his tears come to the surface but he wiped his eyes hoping Sam wouldn't notice. He sniffled then to break the thick tension he laughed, "Well if you're sure college boy but you're going to have to put up with Metallica for the next 400 miles. I'm in a Metallica sort of mood." He said. He had accepted Sam's 'no' for an answer. _Jeez won over easily Dean or what!_ But who was he to deny what he wanted. Bedsides maybe Sam had a point, he probably would be safer with Dean by his side than alone in college.

Sam just laughed and shook his head, "Like I don't put up with your crap music anyway."

The older hunter looked at his brother, "Oh I did not just hear you bag Metallica!" he said seriously and waved to the waitress for the bill.

"Sorry bro but driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole, and if I'm not mistaken I think it's my turn to drive. Don't worry, I picked up a Kelly Clarkson tape at the last service station we stopped at."

The look on Dean's face was comical as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped, "Nup. No way in hell are you playing that shit in my car."

Sam snickered as the waitress came over and gave them their bill, and to Sam's shock and Dean's amusement her phone number as well.

The Winchester brothers made their way out to the old black 67 Chevy Impala. Sam the younger brother content that he would always do his best to be there for Dean and that Dean would do the same. That everything was going to work out okay. How he didn't know but it was just a feeling he had. And the older brother Dean content that his little brother would be hanging around for awhile to come and that he wouldn't be alone, at least not for a long time.

* * *

_Well that's it. I want to thank everyone who has read my story and a big thank you to everyone who reviewed as well. I am about to start another story, but I need to do some research for it first. Keep an eye out for it ;) Until then leave a review and let me know what you think ;)_

_Mishka xXx_


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